


Baby It's Cold Outside

by RyuDanna



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Boners, Body Worship, Curtain Fic, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Ice Skating, Introspection, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pillow Fights, Sexual Tension, Snow Angels, Snowball Fight, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:29:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2323775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuDanna/pseuds/RyuDanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the heater in Haruka’s house suddenly stops working, he heads to Makoto’s to cohabitate for a few days. It seems like a good idea. Then Haruka remembers he hasn’t said everything that needs to be said between them.</p>
<p>(Takes place between seasons 1 & 2)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka is his own worst enemy.

_No good._

The instant Haruka pried the access panel to the heater open and looked inside, he knew he not going to be able to fix it. Somehow, he’d convinced himself that excelling in home management -- and intricate work with his fingers -- would translate into mechanical knowledge. As it turned out though, it doesn’t.

Frustration mounting, Haruka felt the overwhelming urge to throw the screwdriver at this piece of garbage for having the audacity to break in the middle of the coldest winter he’s ever experienced.

He doesn’t because one, that is immature, two, it will not solve his dilemma and three, he wouldn’t even feel like this if he wasn’t cranky. The biting chill of the air kept him tossing and turning all night long; sleeping in brief stints while true rest eluded him.

Haruka settles for letting the screwdriver drop into his grandfather’s old toolbox unceremoniously before shuffling down the hall for a cup of tea. He bundles himself in up his duvet and tries to subdue the persistent shivers racking his body.

The whole ordeal started a little after 3 in the morning when Haruka had suddenly awoke to his room cold as the Artic Circle. Shudders rolled down his body when he sat up in exhausted confusion, spending a few minutes to flex numbed fingers and toes before traipsing downstairs to check the thermostat.

The heater had finally broken for good.

Really, he should have seen this coming. The past few winters had been touch and go with this monster. It’s groans rattled through the walls loudly when it kicked on in the dead of night but years of this noise had conditioned Haruka to tune it out efficiently -- so he never acknowledged the problem.

The noise did, however, succeed in scaring Makoto from ever sleeping over his house during this time of the year (though Nagisa and his ghost stories of restless spirits climbing up the inside of the walls probably didn’t help any). Tell Makoto anything remotely unsettling and that look of discomfort would appear on his face, a strained smile pulling at the corners of his mouth before he gave into fear and scampered behind Haruka to hide. At this time of the year, if he wanted to see Makoto, it had to be at his home.

Not that he minded. Haruka would never admit this but he actually preferred sleeping over Makoto’s house much more. There was more to do (Ren and Ran made sure of that) and the Tachibana home felt more “lived in”. Probably because it was full while he’d been the sole occupant of his home since the first year of high school. An empty house is fine but some nights, it can get a bit lonely.

Starting up the kettle, Haruka leans against the counter, peering out through the main room. Beyond the fence, he can see the warm light spilling from the windows of the Tachibana household. It’s nearing dinnertime right about now.

He can envision the scene even from here.

Mrs. Tachibana is no doubt busy in the kitchen while the twins pester her to order pizza instead. She chastises them in that way only mothers can, sweetly but leaving no room for arguments. Mr. Tachibana will drift in at some point to sneak a taste before the meal is complete and she’ll chase him out. He’ll laugh playfully while Makoto corrals his brother and sister upstairs to take their bath before returning to set the table. He’ll ask about her day and she’ll tell him about the sale at the market, about how their elderly neighbor Tamura-san is doing, about anything of interest happening with their relatives. Makoto will listen in rapt attention as always, chiming in a comment or two

Haruka has seen this particular sequence of events play out a hundred times, usually from his place at the table since Mrs. Tachibana never lets him help her cook (and he’s given up fighting her on this issue long ago); it never losses its charm.

And every once and a while, Haruka can’t fight the smile that comes as a result.

Sometimes, he doesn’t even try to fight it. He allows it to happen naturally.

The scene is domestic and pleasant and fills a small space in his heart with something warm.

The Tachibanas are warm people. The parents. The twins. Makoto.

That’s something Haruka had taken notice of very recently; how warm he is. Not in the way Makoto is genial and pleasant to everyone he comes across; he’s always been like that, no, Haruka has noticed the warmth in a literal sense.

It became obvious last week after the previous storm had slicked up the shrine stairs with perilous black ice. They were running late to meet Nagisa and Rei and Makoto’s insistent urging for haste resulted neither of them being as careful as they should have been. Haruka ended up stepping on a patch of ice and slipped, nearly taking a header down an entire flight.

It was only by the grace of Makoto’s quick reaction time that he didn’t end up cracking his skull open against the cement. He had hauled Haruka back to his feet, fussing over him instantly and apologizing for hurrying him, to which Haruka countered with a repetition of “I’m fine”. But the sudden scare of seeing Haruka almost gravely injury himself had been enough to make Makoto insist on holding his hand for safety.

That’s when Haruka noticed Makoto’s hand was warm. Ridiculously warm now that he stopped and thought about it. People said his smile was like pure sunshine but they’ve obviously never held hands with the guy. He radiates heat like a blast furnace. Even through the thick leather of his gloves, Haruka could feel it. It left him wondering if he’d always been like this. And if Makoto had been, how come he never noticed before.

It seemed silly he wouldn’t. Boundaries between him and Makoto had always been superfluous at best and casual physical contact is nothing new. That wasn’t even the first time Makoto held his hand.

Whether as kids during the funeral precession for the lost fishermen or when he reaches for Haruka now to pull him from a tub or a pool, contact is always present.

Contrary to popular belief, Haruka doesn’t mind being touched (unless it’s a hug. That feels too intimate). He’s just not about to go initiating it and it’s especially annoying when he can’t see it coming or the person themselves is annoying (like that idiot Kisumi or someone overbearing like Rin).

He and Makoto have touched each other in a number ways besides hand to hand.

Makoto grabbing the back of his shirt when Nagisa lead them all into the old swim club.

Makoto snagging Haruka up in his arms to stop him from swimming in fountains and fish tanks (the spoilsport).

When Haruka gently shook Makoto awake after finding him fast asleep by the front door while waiting for him to come home after losing to Rin in the 100m free.

His own hands on Makoto’s shoulders to calm him down during training camp when Rei nearly drowned.

…When Makoto nearly drowned too…

Tilting his face upwards for CPR, to give breath, to give life, to share their first ki-

“…”

Haruka’s senses freeze colder then the air around him.

The follow up mental image is so overwhelming Haruka finds himself shuddering all over and it has absolutely nothing to do with the cold. Suddenly he feels too hot. His stiff fingers curl into the hem of his pullover, tugging at the deep cobalt blue fabric. With his hands busy, the blanket pools at his feet.

They pause when Haruka suddenly remembers that Makoto bought him this shirt.

“…”

Haruka races upstairs with an overwhelming urge to change clothes, tea abandoned on the counter. Tea isn’t important. It never was.

He throws the dresser drawer open looking for anything else to wear, something that will not inadvertently remind him of Makoto. It’s hard though. Most of his clothes shopping in recent years has been done with Makoto.

Nearly everything has been.

It’s why that night on the beach hits him so hard. It was a harsh reminder that Makoto is not as permanent as Haruka thought and it was the suddenness that jarred him.

Haruka is not naïve. He’s considered the possibility that someday their paths may separate from each other. And back then, there was so much left unsaid between the two of them, so much Haruka left Makoto up to interrupt because he just always understood without the need for words and never tried to make Haruka do anything he didn’t want to.

Recently though, Haruka has found that it’s not enough to simply assume Makoto understands him or let him speak in his place because he considers it too troublesome. Haruka has learned how important it is to tell people what you are thinking and feeling to leave no room for mystery.

But these thoughts…and how they drift in that direction are not something Haruka understands or how to express. Honestly, the notion of CPR transitioning into kissing Makoto is ludicrous! Saving someone’s life is not a romantic situation. It’s no place for emotions of that magnitude.

And yet, here he is, having those kinds of thoughts anyway.

_You’re delusional from sleep deprivation. That’s all it is._

Haruka almost believes himself. Almost.

It doesn’t stop how his heart is vibrating like a hummingbird in his chest though.

It’s not so much the subject that the alarms Haruka. Kiss a man, kiss a woman, kiss a fish -- it’s all the same in the end. He is not having a crisis of sexual orientation. He made peace with these types of thoughts ages ago because arguing in his own head about them earned Haruka nothing but headaches. He simply sat back and embraced it for what it was and that was all.

It’s the person who triggers these types of reactions in Haruka. When Makoto becomes the subject of those thoughts, it makes him slam the breaks. Haruka knows well enough you’re not supposed to have thoughts like these about a friend. Even lacking a sense of propriety, he knows this is unacceptable.

_Then wouldn’t that just mean I want him as more then just a friend?_

Heat stings his red cheeks, making them flare even more brightly as he settles on picking out a zip up maroon cardigan to go over a long sleeved thermal. It’s brisk in here. Haruka needs to dress in layers simply to function.

_Oh right. That._

Yeah, staying here is not an option so those thoughts are going away for now so he can go back to looking objectively at his circumstances.

He’s going to need to seek shelter elsewhere and the closest place in Makoto’s. A part of him feels a bit guilty at just assuming the Tachibanas will just let him cohabite with them for a week. That was the time frame the repair shop gave him since the storm has overloaded them with emergency jobs and the roads are nearly impassible.

The longest he’s ever stayed over is 3 days. Anymore then that felt like an imposition on their generosity. But where else can he go? Nagisa and Rei left the day after the last term ended to spend the holidays with Rei’s older brother and sister-in-law in Osaka. They still haven’t gotten back yet. Kou and a few of her friends took off for a trip to a local hot spring. Rin lives in a dorm and he’s not even here this week. He is spending a much-needed week catching up with his mother before jetting off to Hokkaido with Ai.

“Beggars can’t be choosers.” He says to the empty air.

It doesn’t answer back. Haruka kneels down and begin to pack, making absolutely sure not to select any clothing that Makoto given him as a gift or has lent.

He’s having enough trouble as it is without reminders of his changing emotions for Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually started writing this last year but put it on pause to work on S.O.I instead. However, given the absolute emotional heartache that was Episodes 9 & 11 of Eternal Summer, it inspired me to pick this up again. I need some sugary/smutty fluff. Plus, I've been long overdue to give my OTP some attention. 
> 
> This story will also alternate between Haruka and Makoto's P.O.V's. This chapter (odd numbers) is in Haruka's P.O.V and the next (even numbers) will be Makoto's and so on. 
> 
> On an additional note, this is NOT Christmas fanfic. I just chose a title from a Christmas song because it fits the wintery theme.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto also has his own secrets.

“Nii-chan, I’m stuck. Can you help me?” Ran asks, drawing Makoto’s focus from his winter break homework.

He really needs to stay on top of it. He doesn’t want to be rushing at the last minute like a certain friend of his who lives just a short distance away. Not that he’ll ever say that. Haruka is nearly an adult. He can take care of himself, regardless of his dotting…or meddling, as Haruka sometimes accuses it of being. Makoto isn’t offended by it though; he knows Haruka doesn’t think or say things like that to be mean-spirited.

“No fair! You’re not allowed to ask for help!” protests Ren. Makoto breathes out a sigh, adjusting his glasses. Here they go again. Better nip this in the bud.

“Ren, she’s allowed to ask for help if she likes. There’s no rule that says she can’t.” Makoto gently reprimands. Ren frowns while Ran smirks in a self-satisfied manner. “Ran, don’t gloat.” Her face falls instantly and she nods, peering over her brother’s arm to watch. Ren, feeling vindicated, returns to his science homework.

The three Tachibana children have done their homework together nearly every night since Makoto’s last year of middle school. Since high school, Haruka has often been included, an honorary Tachibana their father had once joked.

It all started as a countermeasure to stop them from making a racket when Makoto needed to study for his high school entrance exams. He knows he could have ducked over to Haruka’s house but those study sessions were mostly spent trying to keep Haruka’s attention focused on his work. One thing Makoto as learned over the years is that when Haruka does not want to do something, he can awfully bullheaded.

Frustration and the anxiety of failure provided him inspiration. He told Ren and Ran one night the three of them would all do their homework together and to make sure they focused, promised a free piece of candy from his secret stash to the one who finished first.

The plan worked perfectly and Makoto gave himself a pat on the back for his ingenuity…until they came to him the next day and said they wanted to do it again and honestly, how could he refuse such a request when it got them to stay quiet for so long?

Of course, Makoto was always sure to slip 2nd piece to whoever came in second since he couldn’t stand to see that look of disappointment in his little brother’s eyes or see the way his sister’s cheeks puffed up in frustration. “Just don’t tell them I gave this to you, okay?” Makoto would say with a wink and a smile.

It worked every time and years later they still hadn’t caught on.

Never let it be said that Tachibana Makoto couldn’t be sneaky.

Makoto checks Ran’s multiplication and it evens out so he makes sure she didn’t transpose her numbers again. She tends to rush near the very end to beat out Ren. The chime of the doorbell echoes through the house.

“I’ll get it!” Makoto calls out. “Ran, finish the rest of the worksheet. We’ll come back to that.” Setting his glasses on the table and standing, Makoto caught sight of his baby sister scribbling through the rest of her math homework with fevered concentration. Something akin to fatherly pride draws a smile to his face as Makoto heads for the front door. It’s a bit late for unexpected guests. Turning the lock, he opens the front door only to be greeted by Haruka. Unexpected but not unwelcome.

“Haru? Hi! What brings you over here?” His smile fades back a bit when he sees both a duffle bag and his school bag slung over his shoulders. Makoto also notices how high he’s drawn his cream white scarf up around his face so only his blue eyes are peaking out and the way his shoulders are huddled with his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. He won’t mention any of these things though, since Haruka has caught him noticing. “Um…what’s up?”

He’s glancing off to the side though his body still faces Makoto, a sign that he’s self-conscious about something. That’s disconcerting but Makoto is patient and doesn’t prompt him more then once. If he wants to answer he will. And he does.

“My heater went out.” He mumbles through the fabric. “No one can come out to fix it till the end of the week.” Haruka’s eyes drift up to finally meet Makoto’s. “Can I stay here?”

There’s no thinking required here. Only action.

“Of course you can!” Automatically, Makoto ushers him inside. “Get in! You must be freezing!”

Its almost alarming Haruka even feels he needs to ask. Like Makoto could deny him anything. Well, most things -- jumping into park fountains and stripping in pet stores to get into fish tanks are still something he flat out refuses (for good reason).

He moves inside quickly and Makoto catches the almost relieved sound Haruka emits when he passes the threshold to toe his boots off. His eyebrows lift in confusion.

_Did he seriously think I wouldn’t let him stay?_

“I’m sorry. This is unexpected.” He mutters, unwinding his scarf. Makoto takes it when it’s handed over and grabs the straps of his bags so Haruka can remove his coat.

_He thinks this is an imposition?_

Makoto shakes his head furiously. “Haru, it’s no trouble at all. Don’t even think that. I could never turn you away.” He shrugs out of his coat and Makoto can finally see how red his cheeks, ears, and nose have become. Haruka’s house is older so he can imagine without the heat it’s even draftier. “I’ll tell mom and dad your staying with us for a little while. Why don’t you take a bath and warm up? You probably need it.”

Makoto can’t suppress the smile that blooms on his face when he catches that little flicker of interest in his eyes. If he’s being honest, Makoto thinks it’s cute how the mere mention of water makes his eyes sparkle like that.

He’ll never say that out loud though. Some things aren’t meant to be shared, even between friends. But he’s fine with thinking it. It’s a nice thought that makes him happy.

“All right.”

His smile vanishes when Haruka takes his gloves off.

“Haru! What happened to your hands?!” Haruka looks startled by his distressed tone but he can’t help it. Makoto reaches out and grasps them for a closer examination. The texture of his skin draws out a memory from their shared childhood -- being at the zoo and one of the animal trainers let their class handle a selection of reptiles. Makoto remembered petting a baby alligator, his small fingers feeling roughness of the creature’s skin. It’s the same now touching Haruka’s hands.

His skin is so red, raw and dry, it’s cracking. It looks like broken glass and creating an intricate network of lines. The knuckles on each hand are split and scared over with flecks of dried blood. And they’re cold as if he submerged them in ice water.

“…They get that way this time of the year. The cold dries them out.” His voice is very stiff and Makoto glances up at him. He’s looking away and there is this little crease in his brow of…discomfort?

_Why does he look so uncomfortable? Surely he’s not embarrassed._

“Ow! Makoto, watch it!” He scolds and Makoto blinks, glancing down quickly. He accidentally pressed his thumb over the scared knuckles and…oh…

He’s still holding Haruka’s hands.

Makoto drops them like they’re scolding hot water rather then frigid ice.

“Oh. Sorry.” He manages quickly, a nervous little flutter going through his chest at the extended contact, cheeks stained red now too.

_How embarrassing! I just grabbed his hands and I was holding them for so long._

Haruka utters a noise that Makoto interrupts to mean, “It’s fine” and he clears his throat, rubbing his own hands together before putting them in his pockets. Suddenly, Makoto doesn’t trust them very much. “A-anyway, you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want.” He adds. “Just make yourself at home.” Haruka gives a curt nod and he still won’t look him in the eye. Makoto grimaces, uncertain of what to do next. There’s something going left unsaid here. He can sense it. But Makoto isn’t sure if there is a conversation they should be having or not.

“Haru-chan!” come twin voices of excitement. Haruka turns just in time for two blurs to collide somewhere with his mid-section. He stumbles but manages to keep his balance. The look of surprise on his face is so unexpected that Makoto can’t help but laugh. It bubbles out of him, warm and happy. Just like that, his tension dissolves. Whatever it is that hasn’t been said can wait for now.

“You came over for dinner?” Ren asks, bright smile and equally bright eyes. Haruka sets his palm on his hair and ruffles it, giving him a smile in return.

“Longer then that.”

“You’re staying over night?” Ran babbles excitedly. She receives a ruffle too, her pigtails now uneven.

“Longer then that.” Haruka repeats.

The looks on Ren and Ran’s faces are the absolute antithesis of joy. Makoto didn’t even see them get this excited about their Christmas presents.

“I’ll be staying here for a little while.” He explains.

“Will you play with us after dinner, Haru-chan?” Ran asks.

“Did you two finish your homework?” Makoto questions, arms crossed.

The two glance at each other before racing back to the dining room. This draws a soft chuckle from Haruka that makes Makoto’s stomach fill with butterflies. If it weren’t for gravity, he’d probably float into the ceiling.

“I’ll put your things upstairs. Get yourself warmed up.” Makoto insists but Haruka needs no prompting. He just gives him a nod of acknowledgment and heads into the house, making a trek straight for the bathroom. Once he’s out of sight, Makoto scampers up the steps to place Haruka’s things away in his room. It’s easier to breath when he gets upstairs. It doesn’t settle his heart down though.

* * *

“Talk about rotten luck.” Makoto’s father says after Haruka explains his current predicament. “Having your heat go out in weather like this. This may be the worst winter we’ve had on record.”

“Hmm. Dad says it usually only gets this cold the further up north you go.” Haruka agrees. He’s seated at the table with Makoto’s parents, the three having after dinner coffee -- tea in Haruka’s case. Makoto stands at the sink washing the dishes while Ren dries and Ran puts them away.

“How are your parents doing by the way, Haruka?” Makoto’s mother asks. Makoto smiles. His mother is the only person he knows who can get away with saying Haruka’s full name and not have him get annoyed. He idly wonders if a day will come where he’ll be able to do that too.

“Doing well.” Haruka answers plainly. “They just got back from overseas. They were in Europe for New Years.”

“Oh, how nice! Where in Europe did they go?”

“Barcelona. Dad’s company had a fundraiser event with their international branches. His whole department went to represent Japan.”

“Nii-chan, where’s that?” Ren asks. Makoto blinks, unsure himself.

“Well, it’s…um…” 

“It’s in Spain, capital of Catalonia.” Ran says with a grin. “We just learned about Europe in geography. Right, Haru-chan?”

“That’s right.” Haruka smiles to her, making Ran beam with pride. “They’re surprised by how rotten the weather was when they got back.”

“Well, you are more then welcome to stay with us as long as you wish, Haruka.”

“Thank you.” Haruka says quietly with a slight bow of his head. Makoto knows he feels like he’s imposing on them but he also knows his parents could never turn Haruka away. He’s practically a 3rd son in their eyes. “I’ll make it up to you soon.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Makoto’s father reassures. “You are always welcome in our home, Haru-kun.”

“That’s right.” Makoto’s mother agrees. “So make your self at home for the time being.” She stands, collecting their cups. “Makoto, don’t forget to put out the futon before you boys go to bed.”

“Oh…um, I won’t.” Makoto says. A hard lump forms in his throat which he’s certain is his own heart. Whenever Haruka sleeps over, they always share his bed. It’s bigger then Haruka’s and they can fit together snugly if they disregard all notions of personal space.

Which has never been an issue.

Until now with this sudden influx of feelings he’s been having.

It’s not that he’s ashamed of sleeping so closely to Haruka. Quiet the contraire. It feels natural to press against Haruka’s back, wrap his arms around his middle, burrow his nose into his hair and let his natural scent lull him to sleep. It’s just that if he corrects her, his parents will have questions, questions he’s not ready to answer and might not ever be able to.

_At least mom knocks before coming in. It’s the only reason we haven’t been discovered._

Makoto doesn’t like hiding secrets from his family but this is one thing he wants to keep just between him and Haruka. He only takes the futon because it’s expected to be used for guests. It just ends up getting left in the corner of the room unused.

“Before that though, play time!” Ren proclaims, throwing his dishtowel in the air in triumph now that the dishes are complete. He dashes around the partition and pulls Haruka to his feet. “Haru-chan, lets go to my room.”

“It’s my room too!” Ran yells back, running after her brother. She takes Haruka’s other hand and pulls.

“Right, right. I’m coming.” Haruka allows himself to be dragged along, his expression a mix of amusement and compliance. Makoto chuckles. He’s completely helpless when it comes to the twins.

“Until 9:30 and then its bed time for you both.” Makoto’s mother calls out, walking to the sink. “Go on, Makoto. I can do the rest. You boys have fun now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go on.” She says, pressing a hand to his back and kissing his cheek.

“Thanks mom. I’ll try to wear them out so they’ll go to bed on time.” Makoto reassures her with a smile. He can hear the quiet chatter of his parents fade and the babbling and excited laughter of Ren and Ran just up the hall. As he gets closer, he can hear Haruka too. His tone softer and happier then usual and when Makoto glances in, he sees that his smile is kind and warm, listening to the twins debate about what to play. He smile grows knowing he gets to experience this for a full week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, I got a LOT of attention in just one day. I'm going to see if I can keep up this momentum! Thank you for the kudos, bookmarks and comments! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things remain unsaid and the future is in doubt but some things are still the same.

Haruka flops onto Makoto’s bed lazily, face first. They’ve just finished putting the twins to bed after settling on a few board games. It was too late for the more active play they liked but he made sure to promise they’d do it tomorrow. After all, they have the whole week together.

After being face down on the mattress starts to get uncomfortable, Haruka rolls onto his back and stares upside down at the clock on the headboard. It’s10:07. Right now, Makoto is in the shower. He’ll be in there for 20 minutes tops. He likes to stand under the spray and keep the water very hot so it fills the room with steam.

Unlike Haruka, the only time he sits in the tub is when he gets home after practice to relax his muscles or on the weekends when he can afford to be a little lazy.

Haruka sighs a bit. He wonders if it’s normal for all best friends to know such personal details about the other person, even down to the length of time it takes them to bathe.

_It has to be, right?_

When you see someone nearly everyday of your life, they become a fixture in your everyday routine. In fact, you start to notice the moments when they _aren’t_ there. And Haruka could probably count the instances of not seeing Makoto on one hand.

He holds it up, staring at the back of it. It still looks pretty terrible with how dry his skin is but at least he got the dried blood off with a bit of scrubbing.

Winter is the worst season. Haruka despises it. It steals moisture from him and his hands have always gotten the worst of it. Not only that but the cold has locked everything in either ice or snow. The water is no longer free.

_How can people enjoy this season when the water is trapped?_

He lets his hand drop to his side and stares at the ceiling but it offers no answers to his question. All he can see are the room decals they pasted up there as kids – hard plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars, plus one crescent moon, 4 planets with rings and 2 spiraling galaxies.

It was nice to look at when they were in primary school, resting side by side and speaking softly in the dark to one another because for some reason, it’s just understood that you need to keep your voice lowered in moments like those.

The two of them would talk about all sorts of things; the swim club, Ren and Ran’s art projects, Makoto’s goldfish, the cookies Mrs. Tachibana baked for them both earlier, some pearl of wisdom from Haruka’s grandmother, the shrine cats, his father’s new job.

At some point, one of them would stop responding and the other would know they’d fallen asleep so Makoto would turn on his side to face Haruka, one arm thrown over his chest before drifting off. Or Haruka would turn his back to Makoto, just in case he needed to hold onto his shirt in the middle of the night and be reminded he was there.

He misses those days, when everything was simpler and the future was something only adults had to worry about.

When he wasn’t having thoughts like kissing Makoto or questioning every insignificant moment between them wondering if it meant more then what it was.

“…”

Haruka sits up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning down to change into his nightwear. He brought a pair of pajamas his mom purchased when she came home on her last visit, light blue with white polka dots (on the shirt at least, with the cuffs and collar a solid color like the pants).

Haruka makes it a point to at least wear or try out anything his parents buy him at least once. He usually ends up using everything they get though. The rest of it gets boxed up, which isn’t a lot.

Haruka finishes changing just in time for Makoto to walk in. His amused laugh makes him turn around.

“We match!” He says in delight.

Haruka blinks once. Then casts his eyes down.

Makoto is wearing nearly an identical set, except its colored light green with a darker shade on the cuffs, collar, breast pocket and pants. Those parts have polka dots too.

It figures. Even when he tries to avoid being reminded of his bond with Makoto, something happens to show just how in sync they are with one another. Even having the same set of sleepwear unknowingly.

If fate exists, it’s probably laughing at Haruka right now.

“Did your mom buy you that?” He asks, closing the door behind him. His large hands run the towel over his damp hair to finish drying it.

_Say something! It’s a stupid thing to get annoyed over anyway!_

“Yeah. When she last visited.” Haruka responds. He sits on the bed and pushes his bag out of the way with his foot so it’s not a tripping hazard in the middle of the night. Makoto hangs his towel across the back of his chair and runs a comb through his hair.

“I bought these when I took Ren and Ran shopping last week. They were looking for something we could all get to match.” He explains. “I wonder if she was the store too.”

Haruka shrugs. “Possibly. You may have just missed her.” His mother didn’t stay long that day. She came back to make help Haruka finish cleaning the house and mail New Years cards to their relatives before her trip over seas to meet his father.

“That’s too bad.” Makoto says. “Maybe next time.” He smiles, walking over to the bed and Haruka scoots himself back against the wall, climbing under the covers. The overhead light goes off and the room plunges into darkness. “Ren and Ran want us to play Castles and Dragons tomorrow.”

“Isn’t that the same as Witches and Palaces?” The bed dips when Makoto’s weight comes down, the covers shift.

“No, I think it’s more like Knights and Towers.” His voice is closer then Haruka thought. His breath is on Haruka’s right shoulder. On instinct he tilts his head away.

“They’re all basically the same anyway.” He says, laying down. Ren and Ran use nearly the same set up for their games of make-believe fantasy. There’s usually an evil fairy tale creature guarding a strong hold and the rest of them have break in to save the princess, get the treasure, retrieve the magic sword, etc.

“No they aren’t.” Makoto protests. “They’re totally different.”

“How?” Haruka challenges.

“Well, there’s no dragons in the other two.” Makoto explains.

“Semantics.” Haruka says with the air of a sigh. Makoto’s weight shifts again. He’s probably looking at him.

“That’s a new word. Did you finish the vocabulary worksheets already?”

“Yesterday. I got them out of the way early because I hate doing them.”

Makoto’s chuckle is practically right in his ear and Haruka feels a little warm suddenly. Too warm. For some reason, it sounds very intimate in the dark like this. More so then usual, in fact.

Stupid hormones.

Stupid distracting thoughts.

Stupid eternal state of confusion.

Stupid Makoto because clearly this is all his fault!

“Right. I forgot.” Makoto says and Haruka can hear the smile in his voice. “What did you want for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Mackerel.”

“Besides that, I meant.”

“What else is there?”

“Should have known better then to ask.” He can hear the smile in his voice again. Why does Makoto smile so much over the most inconsequential things he does? Surely, Haruka thinks, he can’t be that interesting.

Haruka doesn’t ask him why. He just stares at the ceiling. Now that his eyes have adjusted to the dark, he can see the little planetary system above him. Over the years, they’ve stopped glowing and the adhesive has dried out so one by one, they’ve fallen off. Now only two little stars remain, directly over each of them. He wonders if that’s symbolic.

“Remember when we stuck those on the ceiling?” Makoto asks. Haruka glances over at him. He can finally see him clearly even in the darkness. “It must have been some time in 2nd grade.”

“Yeah.” At that time, Makoto was still scared of the dark. He didn’t get over that particular fear until they were well into junior high. “You had to sit on your dad’s shoulders to reach.” Now Makoto can touch the ceiling if he arches on his feet. How quickly time flies.

“It was winter then too.” Makoto says quietly. And is Haruka hearing things or is that a fond tone of reminiscing in his voice, like he hasn’t seen home in years and is just now getting a chance to come back? “You stayed over night after we put them up.”

“I…stayed over a lot of nights before then too.” What is Makoto getting at? Haruka rolls over to face him this time, his expression searching. Makoto is startled by the sudden shift and his eyes cut down the bed. “What is it?”

Makoto shakes his head. “Nothing. Just thinking too much. Don’t worry about it, Haru.”

Haruka’s not having it. “No. Tell me.”

His eyes don’t leave Makoto’s face. He can see his brain moving a mile a minute, trying to think of something, anything to say. Or perhaps even fishing for something that sounds convincing, not quiet a lie but not quiet the truth.

But Haruka knows that Makoto _knows_ it’s stupid to try and hide things from him. Haruka can always tell when things are going left unsaid. It’s just his choice whether or not he wants to address it upfront.

“I just…our last year is coming up. When I think about it, I get a little sad.” Makoto still isn’t looking at him and his smile is somber.

Haruka blinks and his eyes drift to the empty gap between them, where their hands are inches from touching. He doesn’t want to have this conversation just yet. He doesn’t want to think about goodbyes. Not when he’s just now come out of a very dark place. Not when he’s grown to appreciate the people around him. Not when he has the old Rin back. Not when swimming has a greater meaning now then simply being “free”.

And he doesn’t want to think of a future where Makoto isn’t here, especially when there are things on his mind lately that seem to be urging him in a new direction that’s all at once frightening and exciting.

“I’m sorry. Did I make you sad too?” Makoto’s voice breaks through the thick miasma of thoughts in Haruka’s mind. He can see the worry in his eyes and just like that, his fears of the future, of these thoughts he doesn’t understand vanish.

It’s stupid to fret now. Haruka knows their friendship can endure anything; even great distances, on the possibility that Makoto decided to leave Iwatobi.

And it can endure this. Whatever it is.

“No. I’m fine.” Haruka reassures. He makes sure his tone is kinder, one he uses only around Makoto. He can see the tension leaving Makoto’s face. It makes Haruka feel better too. “It’s a lot to think about. We still have time though.”

Makoto hums in agreement. “We’ll be okay, right?”

“Yeah.”

Haruka is quiet as he watches Makoto closely. He listens as Makoto’s breathing evens out and he knows he’s fallen asleep. Between them, Makoto’s left palm lies face up.

On instinct, Haruka folds his hands over it. The heat spreads across his skin and radiates down his arms, gathers in his chest, warm and gentle. And it’s enough to lull him to sleep as well.

Haruka doesn’t have an answer for the future. He doesn’t have an answer for his feelings. But he’ll figure it out when the time is right.

For now this is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angst sprinkles in here...but it won't be any angstier then this! Promise! I made myself swear not to get heavy with the drama. Other then the drama of dumb teenage boys oblivious to the fact that they've been in love with each other forever. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
> 
> Next chapter, something funnier and cuter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto examines one fear and conquers another.

Two days have gone by since Haruka came over. And in that span of time, Haruka has integrated himself in perfectly with Makoto’s family. The days start the same way.

Haruka wakes up before anyone is even up and slips out of bed. How he does it without disturbing Makoto is a mystery he hasn’t solved yet. He spends a full hour in the bath before he gets out so Makoto’s father can get ready for work.

Makoto’s mother then gets up and heads to the kitchen to cook breakfast for the family. Haruka joins her after he gets dressed and they bicker harmlessly over him assisting her with the cooking – you’re a guest, she insists. That’s not an excuse to let you do everything, he retorts.

Makoto always finds Haruka sitting at the table when he comes downstairs guiding his still sleepy brother and sister to the table, defeated by his mother. Makoto smiles. There’s no way he’ll ever win that battle with her.

The family plus Haruka have breakfast together. Makoto’s father leaves for work. Makoto cleans the kitchen, then heads upstairs to get dressed. So do the twins. The day’s housework begins. Each of the Tachibana children have a list of chores posted on the fridge. Haruka usually follows after Makoto when he has to do his housework like a diligent assistant.

If it’s Makoto’s turn to do the laundry, Haruka will fold and place things away.

If it’s dusting, he cleans off the dust rags so Makoto won’t have to.

If it’s vacuuming, Haruka moves furniture out of the way.

Makoto’s mother uses the time to figure out meals for the rest of the day, make any important phone calls, set up appointments and pay bills. Haruka always hovers in her peripheral vision, uncertain of what to do with himself. She knows he’s there and she simply smiles to him.

It’s not his fault, really. Makoto knows he’s used to doing all these things himself so standing back and watching someone else do it makes him guilty, like he’s being purposefully lazy.

She’ll let him sit next to her and they’ll chat while he does his homework. When the chores are completed, Makoto and Haruka take over watching the twins while Makoto’s mother heads out, for food shopping, banking or dropping off the dry cleaning. This is the twin’s favorite part of the day because it means they can play with Makoto and Haruka.

The first day they played Castles and Dragons like they wanted. Makoto got the honor of being the dragon this round, hiding behind a fort made from the sofa cushions and blankets and throwing fireballs – toy bean bags—at the kingdom’s mages, Ren and Ran.

They brought out their magic wands to vanquish the evil dragon and rescue Prince Haruka -- who had the honor of being tied up with Ran’s jump rope and sitting on the floor for the majority of the time.

Not that he minded, really.

He liked watching Makoto engage with his brother and sister, if that small smile was any indication. Makoto had to keep his eyes fixated in front of him because if he stared at Haruka too long, he knew he’d do something very foolish.

The second day the four of them gathered in the dining room with their craft supply boxes to color and such. The twins made a paper ring chain to hang around their room and Haruka made each of them paper crowns. Makoto just stuck to one of their old coloring books, his art skills woefully in comparison to everyone else.  

Haruka would make the twins lunch, refusing to let Makoto help, well aware of his absolutely horrible culinary skills and then they would work on homework together.

Makoto’s mother would return and the twins would help her with the groceries or whatever else, giving the older boys a little time to themselves. The first day they played video games, the second day, they went upstairs to read – Makoto, a required novel for literary class. Haruka, one of Makoto’s old mangas.

They read the same way as always -- back to back in comfortable silence, Makoto keeping his laptop open with a play list of soft ambient music for background noise.

From downstairs, they can hear sounds from the TV, the twins watching their afternoon cartoons. It’s a nice pleasant afternoon either way.

Makoto’s father comes home and Haruka heads downstairs without prompting. Makoto is always a little baffled by this – he couldn’t have known that his family’s domesticity is one of Haruka’s favorite sights. The smile he sees as a result of it, though, that makes his heart flutter.

They eat dinner together and Makoto cleans up the kitchen as usual with Ren and Ran’s help. The four play together again, leaving Makoto’s mother and father to talk and watch TV in the living room together before everyone turns in for bed. Makoto tucks the twins in, his father reads them a story and Makoto heads up to shower and joins Haruka in bed.

It feels natural for Haruka to join his family at the table, have him help with the chores, watch him make lunch and play with the twins.

It feels natural seeing his toothbrush next to his on the sink, to fold Haruka’s shirts and place them in the laundry basket, to fall asleep talking in his bed.

Feels good. Feels right.

Feels like he could do this everyday for the rest of his life if Haruka asked it of him.

He knows he’s being a sappy romantic but he just can’t help himself. He always gets this way when they’re alone. Makoto is an emotional person, who feels things so deeply and intensely, that every moment is significant. Even the minor boring, day-to-day stuff leaves a mark on him, if that smile he’s seen on Haruka’s face just before dinner is any indication enough.

Makoto knows he’s in too deep now.

_There’s really no hope for me, is there?_

Still, it’s a nice thought that makes him smile too.

It’s nice to imagine a life more like this.

It’s something Makoto dreams about as he holds Haruka in his arms.

* * *

It’s not nearly as cold on the 3rd day as it was at the start of the week. Today, the sun shines in defiance of the winter weather but it’s nowhere near hot enough to melt any of the snow and ice. Thankfully, there’s no wind except for the sea breeze blowing up from the waves. The brine mixes with the crispness of winter air and it creates a very unique scent that can only be experienced by people who live next to the ocean.

Makoto inhales deeply and turns his face to the sun. In his hands, a piping hot paper cup of hot chocolate, steam billowing off the top. There’s 3 other cups beside him on the bench, awaiting their intended drinkers. Right now, they are on the ice rink.

In the town square, there’s an ice rink that opens shortly after fall rolls around and stays that way until the first week of spring. After that, it’s converted into an outdoor roller skating rink. Makoto and Haruka always make it a point to bring the twins here at least once a season, even though Makoto is well aware of Haruka’s hatred for winter. He does it because Ren and Ran want him to come along.

He smiles, watching them skate. Or rather, watching Haruka hold Ren’s hands and guide him along while he skates backwards. Ran on the other hand is zipping across the ice in circles with no fear at all.

Ren is nervous and his knees are wobbling but Haruka is steady, his grip is firm and his voice his calm. He’s encouraging…and he’s not a bad skater now that Makoto can observe it at a distance. Usually when he’s out on the ice with them, Makoto spends the day hugging the wall, taking baby steps and watching his feet for fear of falling over.

_If Haruka liked the ice more, I’ll bet he’d be really good at figure skating._

Makoto leans forward and pictures it. Haruka in a pair of bright white ice skates, dressed in some fashionable figure skating outfit, most likely colored blue to make his eyes stand out even more beneath that silky, black hair. He wouldn’t have any fear of falling, probably recite his own mantra in his head about the ice being alive. Makoto chuckles at the thought.

He stops chuckling when he starts to imagine what Haruka’s routine would look like. Probably something beautiful and fluid like the water, something where he remains in constant motion and shows off his liquid grace, with a lot of arm movements and twirls.

Makoto sighs wistfully at where his imagination has taken him. Honestly, he should feel pretty foolish for getting this wrapped up in his own head but when it comes to Haruka, it’s so easy to daydream and imagine “what if”.

“Nii-chan! Look!” Ren calls out, breaking Makoto from his musings. Makoto straightens up in attention. Ren is finally brave enough to skate on his own, still slow and a bit shaky but Haruka is directly behind him, just in case.

“That’s great, Ren! You’re doing it!” Makoto congratulates his little brother’s efforts and smiles. Ren smiles back, light brown eyes full of joy. He nods and starts to skate forward on his own, keeping his arms out for balance. Haruka skates behind him slowly, hands tucked away in his coat pockets.

“Nii-chan, come out here with us!” Ran yells. She’s leaning over the wall, panting from her rapid-fire race around the rink, cheeks and nose bright red. Her scarf is hanging off neck with a portion dragging on the ice. Makoto stands up and walks over, extending a cup of hot coco for her.

“I’m okay right here.” He lets her sip down more then half of it and takes it back, setting it on the edge. “Your scarf fell down. Here.” He fixes it, making sure it’s firmly in place. “Your face is all red too.” Makoto pulls his gloves off with his teeth and rubs his hands together, pressing them to his sister’s face to warm her cheeks.

“Heh! Nii-chan, you’re really warm.” Ran giggles, with a smile. She leans her face into his open palms.

“Am I?” Makoto asks. He’s never noticed before. Maybe she just feels that way because her face is cold. Luckily, not cold enough for Makoto would need to be concerned about her getting sick. Its just wind sheer.

“Mhm-hmm. I guess that’s why Haru-chan likes holding hands with you.”

Its Makoto’s turn to turn red.

“Eh?! What are you saying, Ran?!”

“When he almost tripped down the stairs that one time. Then you were holding hands every time you had to go up and down.” Ran explains. “He looked really happy.”

Makoto is stunned. He didn’t notice Haruka looking particularly pleased. Then again, Haruka isn’t a person you can read emotions off of from just his face. You need observe body language and his tone of voice to really understand what he’s thinking.

Makoto looks up but Haruka isn’t looking this way. He’s skating next to Ren now, who seems to have found his stride but he does have his hand hooked onto Haruka’s inner arm as he talks excitedly about something. Haruka listens. Makoto smiles. He’s noticed over the years that when Ren or Ran talk to him, Haruka will look directly at them. With Makoto, he can get away with staring off into space because he knows Makoto _knows_ he’s still listening. It’s just one small way Makoto can glimpse the true beauty of Haruka’s inner kindness.

“Nii-chan, if you came out here, I’ll bet Haru-chan would hold your hand to make sure you didn’t fall down.” Ran says.

Makoto didn’t think he could turn redder then this but it does.

“Skate with us, Nii-chan!” Ren agrees. He and Haruka have caught up finally and stopped behind Ran. Haruka is watching him curiously.

“But…I don’t really have good balance on the ice. I’ll probably fall over.” Makoto says with a sheepish smile. Ren and Ran pout.

“You won’t fall.” Haruka says with certainty.

Makoto glances up at him and then back at the skates he rented.

_Well, it would be a waste of money if I didn’t._

“Ah…okay. Give me a second!”

“That’s the spirit, Nii-chan!” The twins cry out in triumph. Makoto sits on the bench and switches his boots for the ice skates and then hobbles over to the entrance. Now that he’s here, his insides squirm like a pit of anxious snakes. Ren and Ran are still watching him with encouraging smiles and Haruka’s moved back to give him some room. Makoto grips the edge of the wall so tightly it starts to hurt his fingers.

“All right then. Here I go.”

…He doesn’t move…

“Nii-chan, you’re still standing there.” Ran pouts.

“Ah, sorry. Okay…here I go.”

…Still no movement…

“You gotta put your skates on the ice!” Ren shouts. Both of them look disappointed and Makoto starts to feel the pressure.

He’s so nervous, his legs won’t move. What if he falls? What if he hits his head? What if he really does hurt himself? He can’t put Haruka in that position a 2nd time and he doesn’t want his brother and sister to see that either. That’ll just upset them.

His knees buckle and his throat goes dry with apprehension. Sweat is beading on the back of his neck despite the cold and he can see his breath leave him in jagged little puffs.

A hand hovers in his field of vision. A light colored mitten with a mackerel fish sewn on the back of it. Makoto blinks and lifts his head.

“It’s okay, Makoto. Just keep your ankles straight when you step on the ice.” Haruka says, his face is calm, his eyes clear.

I won’t let you fall, is what they tell him.

Makoto’s tension evaporates like his breath in the cold winter air.

“Right.”

He lets go of the partition slowly and takes Haruka’s hand, trying to ignore just how nicely it fits in his. Haruka’s other hand reaches up and Makoto takes that as well.

Then he steps onto the ice with one skate. Then the other.

“Hard part’s over.” Haruka encourages in an even voice. He’s not pushy or impatient. He’s more then willing to wait. That makes Makoto feel better. “Don’t keep your knees so rigid. You need to bend them a little bit, keep them parted so they are even with your hips. You’re too stiff.”

Makoto nods wordlessly and does as he’s told. “Is that okay?”

“Yes. Now push off with one foot and glide forward.” Haruka instructs.

Makoto does so, drifting across the ice at a snails pace. His heart is hammering but he isn’t sure if it’s out of fear of injury or because he’s holding Haruka’s hands for so long.

“Slowly, move your foot forward and place it down and push off with other.” Haruka has his eyes on Makoto’s feet, watching him closely as he moves backwards carefully. Makoto keeps his eyes fixated on Haruka’s face. It relaxes him.

Ren and Ran clap their hands with cheers and then skate off to race in the meantime.

Haruka leads Makoto around the rink a few times as slowly as possible. Thankfully, there’s not many people here today, just three other couples who are too invested in each other to notice, an old man feeding some gulls and a bunch of middle school kids who seem to be more interested in gossiping over hot apple cider then skating.

If there were more people here, Makoto might feel mortified by the fact that everyone was watching him and Haruka skate together. This just isn’t something you see two boys in high school do together. Iwatobi isn’t an intolerant town by any means when it comes to things like this…but it’s not exactly like you can be as open as you want either.

He knows he’s over thinking this. They don’t have that kind of relationship so why is he trying to think of excuses for something that’s not even happening? And even if they did, why should Makoto let someone else’s judgments to sway him? The truth is he won’t. He’ll endure any negativity the way he always does, silently and with a smile. He just detests the idea of Haruka coming under any sort of scrutiny.

“Be quiet.” Haruka says with a sullen frown. Makoto blinks, looking surprised.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re over thinking again. No one is even watching us.”

“Sorry, Haru-chan.” Makoto wilts slightly.

“Don’t call me _chan_. Anyway, even if someone was, that’s their problem not yours.”

Makoto goes quiet. He should have known. Haruka has never cared about the opinions of total strangers. He doesn’t do things to please them or gain their approval and he won’t do things unless he wants to. That’s the one thing Makoto has always admired about him. Haruka has always followed the path he wants, walking his own self-assured steps with steadfastness and stability. Haruka is not about to break his long-standing traditions and behaviors just because someone else disapproves.

_Would he accept change if I told him how I was feeling though?_

Makoto wishes he had an answer for this question but he just doesn’t know.

And he doesn’t want the answer to be “do whatever you want” because that’s not the kind of acceptance he wants. He wants Haruka to want the change as well. He wants Haruka to take the next step with him. Together. Side-by-side. Hand in hand. Like they always do.

“Makoto!” Haruka scolds. “You’re crushing my hands.”

Instantly, he relaxes his grip, pulling himself from his dreary thoughts.

“Ah! Sorry!”

_I’m such an idiot._

“It’s fine. Are you ready to try on your own?”

Makoto finally notices that they’ve been gaining more speed gradually and that he’s established a steady rhythm. When did that happen? How long has he kept up this pace? Makoto watches Haruka in amazement and nods confidently.

“Yes, Haru.”

“Okay. I’m going to let go now.”

Haruka slowly releases his hands and accelerates into the turn, moving to skate beside him instead. He watches Makoto in silence, eyes trailing from his feet to his face. Makoto can see him doing so out of the corner of his eye. His face turns red again, forcing him to keep his eyes forward, least he lose his concentration and fall.

The world around him is a blur of color and light, the chilly wind stings his cheeks and fills his lungs. Makoto feels the dizzying rush of motion as he races around the rink, Haruka at his side. His heart feels a hundred times lighter. The sensation is thrilling.

He can’t even remember being scared of doing this anymore. When Haruka is with him, nothing feels impossible. He feels braver. This is what Haruka has always been best at; giving him inner strength. In turn, Makoto can give Haruka what he needs too. And these emotions that he has locked deep in his heart which are racing through him just as fast as he is across the ice are just the same.

Makoto knows he's speeding towards the inevitable here and what will happen when the inevitable catches up with him is still unknown.

And that can be scary.

Makoto may not know but he does know that he can be brave. Because if he has Haruka's support, everything will be okay.

_So what if I don't have all the answers yet? They'll come when they come. Until then, I can just enjoy the ride._

“Haru-chan!” Ren skates up. Without prompting, Haruka reaches for his hand.

On his right, Makoto can hear Ran’s excited laughter. Her hand seizes Makoto’s, finally catching up. He briefly smiles to her, securing his little sister in his grasp.

He’s so busy watching her that the presence of Haruka’s other hand in his momentarily startles him. He turns to face him with a questioning gaze and Haruka smiles.

Makoto’s smile is so big that he thinks it might wear out the muscles in his face.

Their hot chocolate is cold by the time the four of them exit the rink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't guess from how I described it, Hanyu Yuzuru is my headcanon for FigureSkater!Haru. He's just so pretty. =w=
> 
>  **EDIT:** Part of the last few lines got cut off somehow. But it's fixed now. Also, I changed my mind. Next chapter is Haruka being tormented by his best friend's sexy body and stupid teenage hormones!  >:D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka gets a hard start to his morning. Literally and figuratively.

**_I **don** 't mind the sun sometimes the images it shows_ **

**_I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes_ **

**_Cinnamon and sugar-y and softly spoken lies_ **

**_You never know just how you look through other people's eyes._ **

* * *

It’s the morning of the 4th day when that inevitability starts to happen, where neither of them can dance around the subject they are avoiding for much longer.

After they had spent all day at the ice-skating rink, Makoto, Haruka and the twins curled up in the den with movies and popcorn, huddled up under the extra large camping blanket Makoto dragged out. When Mr. Tachibana came home from work, he found the four of them past out in a tangled pile of arms and legs. Mrs. Tachibana woke them gently to offer them some leftovers from the previous nights which they all took and then headed off for bed early. They had been outside for a while and it is a fairly difficult walk with all the snow still thick on the ground. Makoto and Haruka had to carry Ren and Ran on their shoulders at one point because they’d sink otherwise.

Haruka is the first one awake, as usual. The sun is bright against the coating of white outside the window. It refracts and fills Makoto’s room with blinding light. Its so bright Haruka can see the little cracks in the paint on the walls and the dust gathered in the corner by Makoto’s door.

Besides him, Makoto is still fast asleep, one arm slung over Haruka’s chest and one leg intertwined with his. Haruka realizes he fell asleep first because of the position. He very rarely sleeps on his back.

_Must have just crashed without changing._

Makoto is snoring quietly, face pillowed on his shoulder and part of his chest. Somehow, he’s snuck under Haruka’s arm in the middle of the night so if he felt inclined, Haruka could wrap it around Makoto’s broad shoulders. The blankets have slid off so only their legs are covered.

It doesn’t matter though. It’s not at all cold. Haruka could probably use Makoto as a blanket given how utterly hot he is. A perverted voice in the back of his mind teases if he means that literally or figuratively but a bunch of other voices tell it to shut up.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath…then opens them again.

Haruka notices a sort of firmness digging into his side. He frowns.

_He left his phone in the bed again._

It’s still a little early. He wants to sleep more but he can’t with this thing digging into him. After trying to ignore it for a few minutes and drift back to sleep, Haruka’s eyes open, a crease of discomfort in his brow.

Carefully, Haruka moves his arm around from Makoto, squirming closer to the wall and then slipping it down to where the offending object is. He pats the mattress, trying to feel it out.

Except it’s not his phone.

It’s something else.

Something that’s attached to Makoto.

"..."

Haruka’s hand freezes. His entire body goes still. His mouth is dry.

Nervously, he tilts his head in Makoto’s direction. Mercifully, he’s still asleep.

Haruka exhales very slowly as his hand slips away and he rolls onto his side, away from Makoto, nearly pressed right up against the wall.

His heart is racing as fast as he was when they were skating yesterday but Haruka isn’t sure if it’s out of embarrassment or excitement. He hates that he can’t differentiate between the two.

It’s not the first time one of them has popped a boner in the morning while in the same bed together. They’re boys. Teenage boys. It’s just something that happens, nothing to get bent out of shape about – although Makoto always does. In fact he feels second hand embarrassment on Haruka’s part because he is not fazed at all.

Normally at least. Right now he is.

Because it’s the first time it’s happened when these messy feelings are involved.

_How annoying._

Haruka knows he’s overacting but when he can’t figure something out, it gnaws at him in the worst way. He hates not knowing what to do in a given situation. He feels trapped, the opposite of free. He hates it.

And this is the worst kind of situation because it involves Makoto, the one thing that’s usually so ridiculously uncomplicated Haruka doesn’t have to think. Things just unfold naturally the way they’re supposed to.

Haruka turns onto his back and stares at the twin stars above them, keeping plenty of space between him and Makoto, arms folded on his stomach.

 _This is getting complicated._ He realizes.

Before it was idle thoughts but now he’s starting to become hyperaware of everything Makoto does. He’s being urged in a brand new direction he’s never considered before.

Emotionally, it’s not that far of a leap. They have a connection that runs deep in the soul. They trust each other on an innate level. They can talk without saying a word. They can comfortably share silence without it becoming awkward.

Physically? That’s a little less clear. Haruka has never felt the need to be physically involved with anyone.

At school, the other guys in his class would salivate over dirty magazines, chatter about cup sizes and impressing popular girls, about having sex and going dates. Most of the time, he would tune it all out in favor of day dreaming or doodling.

He’s only masturbated out of necessity, scrapping adolescent exploration for clinical learning at the sake of knowing his own body and how it all works. He’s never even had a wet dream -- which was even more disappointing when he learned they are not dreams related to water (how misleading).

Even things that should be intriguing for boys his age don’t entice him. Porn doesn’t do anything for him. When he explored it, Haruka found himself distracted by things like bad acting, bad lighting, cheesy dialogue between moans that were so obviously phoned in it made him roll his eyes. He gave up after a few more times, too disconnected from the material to get immersed properly.

Eventually, Haruka came to the resolution that physical intimacy and relationships like this were far too troublesome and decided to never get involved.

But now, when he’s besides Makoto like this…well, the idea isn’t exactly unappealing.

He knows what it’s like to hold Makoto’s hand, snuggle up next to him in bed, fall asleep on his shoulder with Ren and Ran sprawled out in their laps. He’s imagined what kissing Makoto would be like vaguely, the sight at least.

What about the taste?

Would his mouth be warm?

What would it be like to have Makoto’s tongue in his mouth?

What if Haruka slid his tongue into Makoto’s?

Are his lips soft or chapped?

Do they radiate heat like his hands?

…Does he want to find out for himself?

The bed shifts behind him. Makoto is finally waking up.

Haruka goes still and shuts his eyes, playing possum. There’s no reason for Makoto to feel doubly embarrassed once he notices what Haruka already did. He can hear Makoto yawn, the rustle of fabric as he sits up…and then that tell tale little squeak in the back of his throat when he’s startled by something.

Haruka can imagine how wide his eyes are right now, how flushed his face is getting. Makoto’s ears are probably glowing bright crimson red at this point, lips drawn into a tight downward curved line.

It’s very a cute image Haruka pictures.

 _Don’t smile_.

The bed shifts again. The floorboards creak. He can hear the gentle padding of Makoto’s feet across the wooden floorboards and then the soft click as his door opens and closes. Haruka is still for a few more seconds and then rolls onto his back when he hears the telltale hiss of the shower, letting out a relieved sigh. They didn’t bathe last night, too tired to do anything else.

Haruka spreads out to stretch hand skimming over Makoto’s half of the bed. It’s still very warm.

“…”

Haruka rolls over once more and lays on that side, melting into the heat that clings to the sheets, burrowing his face in Makoto’s pillow.

He inhales deeply. An earthy scent with an undertone of something flavorful and sweet, like honey or cinnamon, perhaps even bitter chocolate. It’s difficult to place but it’s a pleasant relaxing aroma, just like Makoto himself.

For a few minutes, Haruka allows himself to remain curled up and just breathe in whatever remnants of Makoto linger there. He can afford too. Makoto will be in the shower for a little longer then usual.

Haruka rolls over again onto his face, pulling a pillow over his head.

He should _definitely_ not know _that_ about Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is it so easy for me to make Haru's life a living hell? Haha! I'm sorry, Haru! XD
> 
> I had "Pepper" by the Butthole Surfers playing while I was typing this. The rest of the song doesn't fit for these two but the chorus kinda struck me so I used it as my muse this time. IDK, I get inspired by strange things. orz
> 
> Short quick introspective chapter this time. The next one will be too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto gains some inner strength from within himself and a little extra from those around him.

Makoto stood under the spray of the shower, watching the last of the soapsuds drain below him. He made sure they cleaned away something…unmentionable. The memory makes him blush all the way down to his neck.

He knows he shouldn’t be embarrassed but he is. Haruka was right there! Makoto groans leaning against the slick tile walls. He’s so mortified he could die!

_Was I pressed against him like that?! Did he notice and move away from me?_

Part of him feels a little hollow and sick at the thought, thinking perhaps he repulses Haruka in some manner. Makoto shakes himself out of that bleak frame of mind because Haruka has never once expressed disgust.

Irritation, exasperation, displeasure; all these things Makoto has seen.

He’s also seen sadness and despair.

He’s seen happiness and hope too.

There’s not an element of Haruka’s emotions that Makoto is not intimately familiar with, even though other people around him brush him off as “cold and emotionless”. Makoto knows far better. He’s seen him at his highest high and his lowest low but never anything to suggest he secretly thinks Makoto is revolting.

_You’re thinking too much again. Didn’t you tell yourself you would just let things flow naturally in the direction they want and face the outcome no matter what it is? Stop doubting yourself and just…let yourself feel._

He chastises himself for not being braver, for getting flustered over something Haruka wouldn’t be upset about.

Then again, he doesn’t know what Haruka thinks about this stuff. They’ve never talked about it. Haruka has never brought it up or asked questions. Even romantic topics like if Makoto has ever had a crush on someone – God, how would he answer that one without breaking into a nervous sweat? – Or what Makoto finds attractive in a person – he’s pretty sure he’d drop dead if that topic came up!

Haruka has never expressed any interest of his own and Makoto never asked either.

But unlike Haruka, Makoto has explored his own body beyond simple necessity. He’s spent time finding out what he likes and how it all works, what he can latch onto in his own memories or imagination to get him aroused, what will make a good experience feel even better.

_Does Haru think about those things though? Does he care about that stuff at all?_

It’s difficult to image Haruka getting excited about anything that isn’t a body of water big enough to swim in. Then again even with how well Makoto can read Haruka, he can’t actually read his mind, despite accusations to the contrary by everyone else.

For all he knows, Haruka could be the biggest pervert of them all with crazy sexual fantasies that would fit better in a world penned by a fujoshi and no one would never know. Haruka’s face would betray absolutely nothing. His poker face is just that good.

Slowly, he smiles and laughs a bit at the thought and starts to calm down. He’s not sure what Haruka feels or wants, if he likes things as they are or if he wants more but Makoto knows where his emotions are leading him.

_I’ll just have to be honest with him when the time comes and deal with whatever comes next._

No matter what, Makoto resolves as he shuts off the tap, he’ll always be Haruka’s friend. That comes before anything else.

* * *

“Haru-chan, what is that?” Ren asks.

They are outside in the yard at the moment. There was a fresh layer of powder that fell last night and it’s not nearly as frigid today either. The sun is still bright and hanging overhead at noon, making it just a bit warmer. There’s no wind either so no reason for hats or scarves. Coats, gloves, boots and snow pants are more then enough.

The four of them ceased the chance to build snowmen just after lunch. Well, Ren, Ran and Makoto are. Haruka is…

“Iwatobi-chan.” He says plainly. He sculpts the snow with his hands, building their high school’s mascot character. Makoto smiles. It’s a little known fact but Haruka loves mascot characters.

“It looks weird!” Ran says.

“No, it’s not.” Haruka counters. He’s not upset though. He never could be with them,

“Ran, that’s not nice now.” Makoto chastises gently. “Let’s finish building this kitty.”

“It’s a bunny!” She protests.

“Right, bunny! Sorry!” Makoto corrects quickly, mashing the snow in his hands to make the ears longer.

High above them, herring gulls circle the air crying out as they sail on the sea winds. Just below that, Makoto can hear the tweeting of winter wrens and white wagtails, zipping from tree to tree. It’s a nice atmosphere against their conversation.

“What are you making, Ren?”

“A dolphin!” He says happily, patting the snow to shape his masterpiece.

“That looks weird too.” Ran teases. Ren pouts.

“It does not!”

“Ran, don’t tease him.” Makoto says in the same kind tone. She takes her seat besides him in the snow, making a tail for her bunny. “It looks very nice, Ren.”

Ren’s still huffy about being teased, carving out the dolphin’s dorsal fin from the snow.

“Haru-chan, it looks good right?”

Haruka glances over, examining his handiwork. “His snout is a little too small. It needs to be longer and thinner.” He starts to reach over to correct it but he stops. “Can I fix it or did you want to?”

Ren blinks and shakes his head. “I can do it!” He packs more snow at the front and smoothes it out, concentrating very hard on making it just right.

Haruka nods with approval. “And you need to take some snow off the top. Dorsal fins aren’t that big.” Ren follows his instructions again under Haruka’s watchful eye. Makoto sighs and smiles calmly.

“Nii-chan, I need the other ear!” Ran interrupts, tugging his sleeve. Makoto blinks, pulling himself from his daydream.

“Ha-ha, I’m sorry, Ran.” He laughs. “Here, let’s finish him up.”

The older boys help the twins complete their snow creations with Makoto’s tiny poor constructed snowman besides the much better built Iwatobi-chan plus one bunny and dolphin. They stand side by side in the yard together and Makoto simply laughs.

“Mine’s pretty terrible, isn’t it?”

“Now that’s the weirdest!” Ran laughs. Ren laughs with her, giggling at their older brother’s shortcomings. Makoto merely shakes his head with a resigned smile.

“I just can’t win.”

“Oh, these look very nice.” Makoto’s mother steps outside. “Are you ready to color them in?” She’s holding a bunch of old spray bottles filled with water and food coloring.

“Wait. We can color in the snow?” Ren asks in surprise.

“It’s something my grandmother taught me when I was a kid.” Haruka explains taking the yellow filled one. He steps over to his creation of Iwatobi-chan and sprays it. Color sinks into the snow, making it pop out against the white with bright lemony yellow. It’s like seeing a little bit of summer in a bottle.

Ren and Ran jump with joy, tugging their mother’s arms.

“I want pink for my bunny!”

“Do you blue for my dolphin?”

“Yes, yes. I hear you both.” She says sweetly. She hands both bottles to them and watches the twins dash off to paint. Haruka assists where he can.

Makoto smiles softly as he watches. He still remembers the first time grandma Nanase taught them this, back when they were still in primary school.

The way Haruka’s eyes lit up brightly in awe as he watched her paint the snow with a rainbow of colors.

He always remembers how Haruka looks when he’s fascinated, how all the lines in his face dissolve and relax, how his eyes seem to get a little bigger and brighter, how much wonderment he has. In those moments, Makoto is quiet because he wants to admire Haruka’s face for as long as he possibly can.

His beautiful, perfect face.

_How many other wonderful, perfect faces does he have that I haven’t seen yet?_

“Makoto.” His mother says. Makoto was so distracted watching Haruka he forgot she was still standing there.

“Um, yes?” He says, turning to her with a smile.

She looks up at him and it feels like there’s something silent and supportive being past between them. Much like Haruka, it feels like his mother is looking inside him. For a moment, Makoto feels that squirming sensation of anxiety a bit.

But then she smiles, completely loving and it’s gone once more.

“Your father and I are going out tomorrow night with some of our friends.”

“Oh. Okay. So you need Haruka and me to baby sit?”

“Actually, they’ll be out most of the day too. I need to take them to them to the dentist tomorrow and after that, I’ll be dropping them off at their friend’s house. Slumber party.”

Makoto nods. “So watch the house then and keep my phone nearby in case there’s an emergency.” He watches his mother smile again and it feels like there’s something more she wants to say but chooses not to.

“Yes, so you boys will be on your own for dinner. I left pickled mackerel for Haruka. It’s on the top shelf of the fridge. Of course, if you change your mind, I left money for pizza.”

“Oh mom, you don’t need to do that.” Makoto implores. “I couldn’t waste your food. Besides, Haru would choose mackerel over anything I ordered.” He laughs a bit and his mother joins in, lips curved into a smile.

“That boy is going to turn into a mackerel one day!” She laughs, stepping back onto the veranda and with one final glance over her shoulder she’s gone.

It’s strange but Makoto can’t help feel they just had a wordless conversation of their own.

Suddenly, he’s not so worried what anyone thinks of him and Haruka anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist throwing that fujoshi joke in there. Makoto is on to us! XD
> 
> Next chapter, something funnier.
> 
>  
> 
> So not ready for the finale today. ;_;


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka finds the universe has a very poor comedic timing.

Haruka and Makoto sit across from each other at the dining room table finishing the last of their homework, an assortment of sandwiches and chips near by, glasses of barley tea and cola half empty, leaving beads of condensation on the table.

After this, they only have English left, the subject they are both terrible at. It’s times like these that he and Makoto curse the fact that Rin goes to a different school. The two of them unofficially decided to save their hated subject for tomorrow when the house will be quiet enough for them to concentrate. Right now, they can handle the blaring sounds and up-tempo pop songs from Ren and Ran’s cartoons in the other room.

Haruka sets his pencil down and tilts his head back and stretching his arms out before him, much like a cat would. When he relaxes, Makoto is staring at him, glasses slipping down his nose.

“What?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” He says quickly, pushing them back up and glancing down at his literary essay. His rough draft is almost finished. He’ll type it up later tonight before bed. Haruka scrutinizes him for a few seconds before collecting one of the tuna fish sandwiches from the plate and chews.

Haruka knows it’s not “nothing”. When Makoto came back from the shower this morning, he was definitely putting on an act, going through the motions of being pleasant and cheerful but without the usual energy that accompanies it. After that, he was quick to hurry through their morning routine, almost as if it would properly distract Haruka.

It’s an easy thing to overlook but Haruka has not known Makoto for well over a decade without learning when Makoto is and isn’t being sincere. That’s how Haruka knew he still felt awkward about his state in the morning.

As usual, Haruka acted as if nothing had happened, too busy caught up his own thoughts and emotions. He didn’t blame Makoto. It’s his own stupid head that’s not working right anymore, trying to reconfigure itself into a new shape Haruka’s never seen before; one where he thinks about kissing Makoto, where touching that part of him accidentally get him flustered in a way that’s not unpleasant.

 _Is there a repair shop to fix broken heads too? Keh…it would probably take a week to fix that as well._ Haruka thinks with an air of sarcasm.

It’s the first time since he came over here that he wishes he could go home. He needs to think and Makoto’s very presence is making it impossible to be objective.

Makoto’s heavy sigh pulls Haruka back to the present. He sets his glasses on his workbooks and stretches, tilting his head this way and that to crack the bones and stretch the muscles in his neck.

“Done?”

“Done.” Makoto repeats with resolution. “Just English left now.”

“Joy.” Haruka mutters in a flat tone, chin pillowed on his palm. Makoto laughs.

“Same here. Maybe we should call Rin for help.” He holds his arms out, bent at the elbows and biceps tensed as he swings them back and forth horizontally to stretch.

Haruka can see the way they ripple under the fabric of his flannel shirt. His eyes cut to the table suddenly thinking his math book is very interesting.

“He probably won’t pick up.” Haruka says around mouthfuls of bread and fish. “He usually turns it off when he’s jogging.”

“In this weather though? If it’s like this here, it’s probably worse up north.”

“It’s Rin. He’d jog in a hailstorm of glass if he wanted.”

“Sadly, I think that’s true.” Makoto agrees. He rubs his neck and sighs. Haruka glances up finally, feeling calm again.

“Is your neck hurting you?”

“Hm? Oh, no. It’s fine. I’m just a little tense from sitting like this for so long.” Makoto brushes off his concern quietly. “I’ll be fine once I stand and stretch.”

Figures. Even in little things like this, Makoto tries to put up a brave front and act like it doesn’t bother him.

Haruka watches Makoto working a kink out of his shoulder.

His eyes narrow a bit.

Suddenly he feels inspired.

Haruka stands and moves away from the table but Makoto doesn’t think anything of it until he’s standing right behind him. He pauses, looking over his shoulder bewildered and slightly apprehensive since he has no clue what to make of this. It’s very rare for Haruka to get this close outside of sleeping arrangements.

“Um…Haru?”

“Relax.” He says, resting his hands on Makoto’s shoulders. There’s no hesitation. They lay there naturally. Makoto blinks, green eyes curious like a confused puppy. Haruka’s eyes move from Makoto’s, looking at the base of his neck.

_Don’t look at me like that. It’s going to make me self-conscious._

Almost as if he heard him, Makoto turns around, hands in his lap. Haruka follows his own advice and relaxes too.

Then his hands start moving. He can feel Makoto’s shoulders tense in response. He frowns in kind.

“Ah…H-haru…what are you doing?”

That nervous little laugh that he can sense still has his smile in it. Haruka’s frown dissolves.

“Your shoulders are tense. I’m massaging them. Sit still.” Haruka explains. He begins to move his hands back and forth, working the soft tissue beneath his clothes and skin. It would be easier if he wasn’t dressed in layers but he’s positive asking Makoto to strip naked from the waist up would humiliate him even more then this morning did. Besides, his family is still home.

“You…really don’t have to do that.” Makoto’s voice is quieter now. It’s the kind of quiet he hears in the dark when they’re drifting off to sleep. Haruka swallows. His mouth feels really dry all of a sudden.

“I know.”

_I want to though._

Haruka presses his fingers in harder, feeling out were the knots are and kneading them carefully so it’s not painful but firm enough to loosen them. Whenever he finds such spots, he draws a circular pattern to ease it out before continuing on.

In their training, they often use massages before and after a regimen. They’re swimmers. Shoulder injuries are common so it’s important to keep them flexible and limber. Makoto probably just thinks Haruka is applying the same logic here. He won’t correct him.

Not until he’s certain of a few things.

Makoto tilts his head back slightly and emits a sigh that’s gentle and blissful.

It crashes through Haruka’s senses like he’s been electrocuted.

The sound ripples through him like a pebble dropped in a still lake. His stomach feels weightless, like he’s reached the apex of a dive, ready to plummet into the water. The ripples converge somewhere in his chest, swelling with warmth and light.

Haruka is more then positive his heart is going to burst out of him.

_He’s so unfair!_

“Thanks Haru. That actually helps a lot.” His voice is practically a whisper at this point.

“Mhm.”

Haruka can’t find his words suddenly, so that guttural sound will have to do for a response. Luckily, Makoto always accepts his affirming noises as appropriate answers.

Shoulders relaxed, Haruka’s hands move up to his neck. Makoto’s collar is in the way so he makes the decision to stick his hands inside and rest them there while his fingers do all the work. His neck isn’t that bad luckily. He works the back of it out and then around the sides, progressing forward.

Haruka stares down from the top of Makoto’s head. He sees his eyes are closed, his expression relaxed. He has that same kind smile as always.

Beyond that, he can see the broad expanse that is Makoto’s chest, a gap in the front of his shirt that offers a preview of what’s below.

Haruka knows what’s there. He’s seen it since they were kids. Makoto’s only grown taller and more muscular as the years have past. He’s not the same little kid or gangly adolescent from middle school. He’s filled out nicely. Yet, at his core, he’s remained very much the same. So Haruka can’t say for certain if Makoto is attractive or not. All of them at the peak of physical health and an unclothed Makoto is as familiar a sight as clothed. It’s just another part of Haruka’s everyday life.

But…when it’s viewed through the lens of these new feelings, the perspective changes.

It’s like he’s taken a step away from a painting to view all the details at once because he was too close before, looking at all the individual elements and not seeing the big picture.

Now that that he is, that same urging is back but stronger. Suddenly, he’s gone from not knowing what he’s feeling to feeling far too much. He now has too many different ideas to choose from and each one is something he’s curious about and wanting to try.

He wants to put his hands down Makoto’s shirt.

He wants to move and sit in his lap to he can wrap his arms around his neck.

He wants to play with his hair.

He wants to crane his neck around to kiss him…and he wants it long and deep.

Haruka does not initiate contact with anyone except Makoto and that’s only extended as far as offering his hand to him if he needed it. Makoto has always been the one to seek him out first.

Now he wants to do it too.

He wants to reach out.

Because Makoto makes him feel brave enough to try.

“…”

The floorboards creak under Haruka’s feet as he leans down. He’s not sure what he’s going to do when he gets there but he’ll figure it out.

Makoto is still unsuspectingly stationary.

Haruka knows he is dangerously close to crossing a line.

There’s another part of him that realizes he’s more then okay with that though.

Makoto slowly starts to turn and…

...

...

...

_**“Detarame no PURAIDO ja nai yume wa mou miteru dake ja nai. I know, Ready…koko kara…Over the Dream!”** _

...

...

...

…his cell phone blares to life.

Haruka leans past Makoto’s shoulder quickly and snags his glass on the table. Makoto blinks, leaning away from the unexpected proximity and digs his phone out of his pocket. In the meantime, Haruka steps away and walks to the other side, downing the entire contents of his glass. It’s amazing he can do so calmly. 

“Hello? Oh, hi Rin!”

**_CRUNCH!_ **

Haruka chomps down on his ice cubes loudly.

Heat is rising up inside him and not in a good way.

“Haru, that’s not good for your teeth!” Makoto scolds. Haruka can hear Rin shouting about something or other but he’s too far away to hear it. “What? Oh, no! I was talking to Haru! There’s nothing wrong with your teeth, Rin!”

Haruka wanders off into the den to join Ren and Ran. He crumbles up onto the sofa, dejected and frustrated. Later, he’ll kick himself for being this childish but right now, all he wants to do is sulk.

“Are you done Haru-chan?” Ran asks, crawling up on the sofa to join him.

“Yeah.”

“Want to play a game with us?” Ren offers, taking his other side. He offers Haruka a controller.

“…Yes.”

He needs to vent out his annoyances somehow and simulated violence is the safest option at this point because his other option is to march back into that room and chuck Makoto’s phone out the window then plot Rin’s demise for interrupting him.

“Want to play super smash?”

“Sure.”

Ran and Ren set the game up properly and pass out the controllers, setting one aside for when Makoto inevitably comes to join them.

“Ren, Ran, you two need to promise me something.” Haruka says. The twins look up at him curiously.

“What is it, Haru-chan?” Ren looks up at him curiously.

“Never get a crush on someone.” Haruka says, dryly. “They’ll drive you insane.”

Ren and Ran blink at him before they give each other confused looks and then shrug, turning back to their game.

“That won’t happen.” Ran says. “Because I’m going to marry Nii-chan!”

“You can’t marry him! I am!” Ren argues.

“Neither one of you can marry him. He’s your brother. That’s not how it works.” Haruka corrects.

“Are you going to marry Nii-chan, Haru-chan?” Ran asks.

 _I’m going to marry him so I can divorce him._ He thinks petulantly.

“Who’s marrying who?” Makoto asks, wandering into the room.

“No one, Nii-chan.” Ren and Ran chime at the same time. “Play with us.”

“Oh, okay.” He takes a seat besides Ran and picks up his controller. Haruka’s eyes darken.

He feels inspired again.

* * *

Haruka absolutely devastates Makoto during their brawls. He lets Ren and Ran win a few times but he’s merciless with Makoto.

“Geez, Haru! This isn’t a competitive game tournament! How are you this good?!”

“It’s all skill, Makoto.”

“If that’s the case, pick a different character!”

“…No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm SO unfair. LOL
> 
> But I'm looking forward to the next 2 chapters. It's the whole reason why I wrote this to begin with. >w>


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which play time is finally over...only to begin anew.

The next day arrives and the routine is pretty much the same. Until around 2:00pm. Makoto’s mother bundles up Ren and Ran, makes sure they have everything in their over night bags and then the three of them are out the door. Neither one is thrilled at the prospect of a dentist visit. Makoto sympathizes. Needles are terrifying! At least they’ll be ending the day on a high note.

Makoto’s father comes home from work to get ready for the evening, shortly after his mother returns from dropping Ren and Ran off at their friend’s house. They wish the boys a fine evening, saying they won’t be home until very late. Makoto’s mother leaves money on the table for them as she promised.

They do end up ordering pizza and Haruka covers his slices with the pickled mackerel in the fridge. Makoto just laughs. Haruka would probably bake mackerel into cake and still eat it.

Finally, they’ve put it off long enough. It’s time to do English. Trudging upstairs, they lay their books out on the small table at the center of the room.

It’s quiet.

A little too quiet now that Makoto stops and thinks about it.

He glances up at Haruka several times but his eyes never leave his textbook. After waiting for a while, Makoto realizes he’s not daydreaming but actually working. Odd considering Haruka has the least focus in this subject.

In fact, ever since yesterday afternoon, something has been off. Something has shifted between them and Makoto can’t for the life of him figure out what. It all started with that shoulder rub which was both unexpected and very nice. But after he finished talking with Rin, it was like a wall went up.

Haruka always sits back and lets Makoto touch him in any way he wishes but this was the first time he got that close of his own violation.

He enjoyed it a little too much.

Just the memory of those hands on him, in a non-practice setting makes his heart flutter.

_I’m not going to survive another 2 days like this!_

Something’s gotta give. Makoto knows it. It’s just a matter of when.

“What did Rin want?” Haruka suddenly asks apropos to nothing. Makoto blinks.

 

The first crack in the wall appears.

 

“Eh? Oh, just checking in.” He says, feeling a little of that tension evaporate. “He’s getting ready to come back tomorrow. The third years send off is next week and Mikoshiba-san has something planned for the whole team. We’re invited too.”

“Hmm.” Haruka just nods, not looking up at Makoto once.

Makoto sighs and drops his eyes back to his textbook. The English looks even more like gibberish then usual. Even the Japanese is nonsensical jargon at the moment. His insides squirm again, like before he stepped onto the ice.

He can’t stand this any longer.

“Haru, did I do something to make you mad?”

Haruka’s pencil freezes in his workbook and then starts moving again.

 

Another crack in the invisible wall. 

 

“No.”

“Yes” is what that pause told Makoto. He frowns.

“Haru, if I did something to upset you, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t. Stop worrying.”

Makoto feels frustrated. He wants to keep talking about this but he can’t force the issue if Haruka is unmovable and he doesn’t want to fight either.

_What did I do? I just can’t figure it out. We were doing homework. Haru gave that amazing massage. His hands felt really--Agh! No! Don’t get distracted. Then Rin called me and…wait…is that why he’s mad? Because he was interrupted? It would have been rude not to answer the phone though!_

Makoto looks at Haruka with a searching gaze.

_Did I miss something?_

“Shut up.” Haruka says suddenly, startling Makoto.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re over thinking again.” Haruka responds quickly. “I can hear you from all the way over here and it’s distracting me.”

Makoto flushes, embarrassed and ashamed. Haruka’s always been so in tuned to Makoto’s ever little tick and habit, he can always spot any shift in tonality.

_Stupid. Of course he knows something’s up._

“I’m sorry, Haru. I was-” Before Makoto can finish, his eyes finally land on Haruka’s worksheet and widen. “Haru! You’re doodling on your worksheets again?!”

Haruka lifts his head, finally looking at him and Makoto wishes he could take back his desire to have Haruka face him because suddenly it’s very hard to look into those astonishing blue eyes without feeling that weightless sensation in his gut again, that fluttery feeling in his chest. Makoto feels like he’s about to jump out of his skin.

 

The cracks in the wall begin to spider out. It’s weakening slowly the longer they talk.

 

“I’m not doodling.” Haruka responds coolly. “I’m drawing the answers in place of writing them.”

“It’s not an art assignment.” Makoto replies unable to stop himself from smiling. Well, it’s certainly creative. He finds Haruka can be equal parts fascinating and vexing sometimes.

“I’m technically not wrong if I draw what the word represents.”

Makoto sighs internally, smile strained. He’s being bullheaded again. Part of Makoto wants to scold him but Haruka’s not really someone who can be ordered to do things. And when Haruka says he doesn’t want to do something, he _means_ it. He tries a different tactic. Haruka accuses it of nagging but he likes to think it’s gentle persuasion.

“That’s not how you’re supposed to do these things, Haru. You have to write them out so you can show the teacher you understand the proper spelling and grammar.”

“But I have a horrible affliction.” Haruka counters blithely.

“What affliction?” He treads cautiously.

“English…-itus. I’m allergic to the English language.”

“Haru…” Makoto groans.

He’s going to be difficult. Makoto prays for inner strength.

“It’s a very fatal aliment, Makoto. You could be more supportive of my condition.”

“I’m always supportive!” Makoto protests. He doesn’t know why he’s fighting over something make believe or allowing this childish streak of his to get to him but he is. “I’m just not going to let you- What are you doing now?!” He shouts.

In the interim, Haruka has twisted around to grab his phone sitting near by. He sprawls on his stomach, propped on his elbows, knees bent, and ankles crossed, tucking himself between the bed and the table.

“Taking a break. Breaks are healthy.”

“We’ve only been working for 25 minutes!”

“Well, it’s best not to strain yourself, huh?”

Makoto blinks dumbly and for one split second, he’s not sure if he’s arguing with Haruka, his 17-year-old friend or Haru-chan, the 10-year-old version. This is a level of childishness that only Rin can usually bring out in him.

Well, Makoto is not having it. It’s time to put his foot down, Tachibana style!

He leans up, crawling on his knees behind Haruka and bracing the side of the bed with one hand.

“Haru, give me that phone.”

“No.” Haruka holds his arms out at a distance when Makoto reaches out to snatch it. He’s still scrolling through water themed wallpaper and now fully laying flat on the floor without his elbows to prop him up.

An exasperated groan escapes through Makoto’s closed teeth.

“ _Haru_.” He reiterates with authority but Haruka doesn’t flinch, still playing Keep Away. Makoto doesn’t even notice that he’s hovering over Haruka in a very provocative manner – hands braced on the table and bed respectively, knees straddling his sides with Haruka directly below him on his stomach. And if Haruka notices this, he says nothing.

 

The wall is breaking; it’s foundation crumbling. Just one last good hit is all it needs before it shatters completely and Makoto can be with Haruka on the other side.

 

“You guys are always telling me to carry my phone more.” He rolls onto his side and dodges another grab. “Well now I am.”

“Not during studying.” Makoto qualifies, straightening up on his knees above him. At that Haruka turns his head to look at him.

Haruka looks absurd laying on the floor like this with such a serious face and that persistent little scowl that’s sort of cute if you know Haruka’s true temperament. It’s so tempting for Makoto to smile like a complete idiot, that’s how bad it’s gotten. He watches Haruka’s eyebrows lift and nearly vanish into his hairline -- though his gaze is as uninterested as possible.

“Oh? There’s conditions now?” He asks, innocently.

“Haru, give me your phone or else.” He says very slowly.

Haruka is not intimidated. Big surprise.

“Or else what? You’ll put me in time out or something?” He challenges and there’s a little flicker of devilishness in his bottomless blue eyes that ignites a spark in Makoto’s veins and sets his blood on fire.

But now that he’s this close, he can finally see it.

Haruka has lured him in closer.

He’s being… _playful_.

 

The wall begins to topple.

 

“No. I’ll…um…” His eyes dart around. Haruka’s got him there. What can he possibly threaten him with?

Deny him mackerel? Haruka will just refuse to eat anything until he relents.

Force him out onto the sofa? No, Makoto would feel guilty all night long.

Refusing him the water? That one’s just plain cruel!

_Think. There’s gotta be-_

And then he sees it and the childish side of Makoto takes control. He obeys his reckless impulse this time. He’s tired of dancing around the subject, of playing it safe. He’s going to take a chance, damn the consequences. For all he knows, he's missing out on something extraordinary .

Makoto grabs the pillow off the bed and swings it down.

He briefly sees Haruka’s eyes snap open wide before it pelts him right in the face. That look was far more rewarding then anything else and he doesn’t fight the grin this time.

 

The wall comes crashing down completely at long last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Haru gets his revenge >:D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which...you know what happens next.

Okay.

To be fair, Haruka really didn’t see that coming when he enacted his master plan.

Nothing in his 17 years of life could have mentally prepared him for the sight of Makoto hitting him in the face with a pillow. That’s more of a Nagisa kind of response.

The idea had been simple. Since the direct approach didn’t work, Haruka decided to lure Makoto in closer in a more comfortable situation. After all, they had the time, they had the privacy, they had the perfect setting. What easier way for Makoto to be lulled into thinking everything was business as usual then to do this during their study sessions?

Besides, he hated English. Anything that could put it off for a little bit longer was a plus in his book. Win, win.

And he knew Makoto was a fastidious enough student that he wouldn’t let his “laziness” go unchecked.

So he teased and taunted and lured Makoto in…and then over him. Maybe if he got them in the proper position, it would be a big enough hint that Haruka wanted this to happen, that he was sick of playing around too.

The pillow to the face had been an unexpected variable and Haruka is sure there’s a joke he could be making related to Rei in there but he can’t for the life of him figure it what is because he’s still reeling from that surprise attack.

It’s rare for Makoto to catch him off guard like this. He usually only does when he’s a little too honest with his emotions. That always flusters Haruka. He never knows the correct way to respond in those moments.

This is very different…and there’s a small part of Haruka that’s intrigued.

“Did…did you just…”

“There’s more where that came from.” Makoto preens, corners of his mouth lifting in triumph, snapping the pillow between his hands.

Haruka blinks and his mouth turns downward in kind.

_Oh, if he thinks he’s won, he’s got another thing coming._

“Phone.” Makoto’s hand appears in Haruka’s line of vision. Just beyond him lays the second pillow.

It’s Haruka’s turn for his inner child to wake up and demand revenge.

Obediently, Haruka nods, shifting back so there’s enough space for him to sit up fully on his knees and hand him the phone with his left hand, making sure he’s not looking…

…and then…

“Pillow!”

In a precise motion of fluid grace, Haruka is up and gripping the edge of the other pillow, swinging it out and smacking Makoto across the head. Haruka jumps back as Makoto yelps in surprise, his eyes going wide at the sneak attack and his glasses being knocked askew. Haruka’s phone gets chucked to some forgotten corner of the room but he doesn’t care. He has a weapon now.

Makoto shakes his head and glares up at Haruka through crocked lenses.

“Haru!”

He’s not mad, just a touch miffed. Haruka can work with that.

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.” Haruka says, snapping his own pillow between his hands and then swinging again.

Makoto manages to block it this time but he succeeds in knocking papers everywhere.

“Hey! Don’t hit me in the face!”

“You hit me first.”

“I was teasing before!”

“What makes you think I’m not?”

Makoto blinks in surprise.

Haruka smiles. It’s one he gives Rin before they start a race, knowing that win or lose he’s going to enjoy himself.

Makoto smirks and the sight makes Haruka feel a touch concerned.

That’s the same smirk he had before he and everyone else ganged up to tickle him in the clubroom all for sake of making him laugh.

Makoto lunges forward with a battle cry.

The sound is so jarring it makes Haruka leap backwards towards his door, spinning on his heel as he does.

The swipe across his back draws out a panicky yelp from Haruka-- a sound he would be mortified to let anyone else hear. His narrow brush with certain downy death quickens his pace and then the two of them are thundering down the stairs. Haruka sprints off the instant he’s off the stairs, Makoto right on his heels.

Haruka spins around near the opening to the living room and smacks him using both hands. Makoto blocks and that moment is all he needs to continue his escape.

“Haru! Get back here!” He laughs. Haruka fights not to do the same.

“No way!” He calls back.

Haruka turns around in time to get a vicious smack across his shoulders and forearms as he brings his pillow down on Makoto’s upper side. He yelps again, this time more light heartened and retaliates with another swipe of his pillow. Haruka blocks and shoves it back before swatting him over the head.

For a few minutes, they continue this back and forth, albeit in a careful and controlled manner.

Pillows aside, they are both still fully-grown muscular teenage boys, racing through a fully furnished home with lots of easily breakable things. Even if it is a pillow fight, they both know the rules of war in keeping collateral damage to a minimum.

The tussle ends when Haruka sidesteps another attack and climbs onto the sofa, stepping across the cushions before he jumps back to the floor.

“Don’t walk on the couch! You’ll break it!”

“Are you saying I’m fat?”

“What?!” Makoto actually stops at that. “No! I just…muscle weighs more then--!”

Haruka pelts him across the face and runs full tilt into the dining room.

“That was a cheap shot!” Makoto shouts at his back, throwing his pillow. It lands on the floor, just missing Haruka’s ankles.

“There are no cheap shots in war!”

Makoto nearly stumbles in his haste to grab his pillow and continue his pursuit but he manages to right himself and comes out swinging. Haruka blocks his blow with one of his own then ducks behind the dining table.

Makoto doesn’t let up and unleashes a brutal assault on Haruka’s chest, shoulders and upper arms but he manages to block the brunt of the attacks. Haruka surges forward again and smacks Makoto as hard as he can in his side, using both hands to aim and forces him back into the connected kitchen. He keeps backing up until he hits the wall and then moves back up until he’s next to the fridge.

Haruka has got him dead to rights.

“Give up?” He taunts, a victorious smirk pulling at his features.

Makoto returns it and the sight alone triggers a carnal ache deep inside Haruka. He hopes the flushing in his face can just be contributed to being winded from their racing around the house.

“I’ve not even begun to fight!” Makoto shouts and then tosses his pillow over the countertop besides the table.

Haruka blinks dumbly but then his jaw completely unhinges.

Makoto slams his hands on the counter and literally vaults over it, swinging his legs over effortlessly, like he does this everyday. The entire room vibrates when his full weight comes crashing down with a hard thud not even staggered.

Makoto, whose eyes are bright and gleaming, just smirks at Haruka’s abject shock.

Haruka can literally feel it appearing on his face.

“Oh my God.” He breaths both stunned and genuinely impressed.

But then Makoto is charging again, pillow in hand and Haruka realizes he’s left himself wide open.

Panic erupts inside him. He’s made a HUGE mistake.

“M-Makoto! Wait!”

“En Garde!” He shouts triumphantly, aiming for his head this time.

Another panicky cry escapes from Haruka as he manages to duck and bolt, the wind sheer ruffling his hair. He hears Makoto take a not so graceful tumble into the wall and glances back to see him shoving himself forward, grim determination in his eyes.

Makoto is staring him like a lion with an antelope in his sights.

Haruka all but shrieks.

He doesn’t care about that.

For the next several minutes, Haruka looses track of where he’s going or even what his original plan was. All he knows is that they are racing in and out of rooms, walking across couches, ducking behind tables, goose steeping over Ren and Ran’s toys -- he still remembers the absolute pain and agony that is stepping on a Lego with your bare feet.

He gains ground and loses ground. Makoto gains ground and loses it too. They end up in the hallway, facing each other down with Haruka having his back to the stairs. His dark eyes lock with Makoto’s. You’re both panting and a little sweaty but far from willing to back down.

“Do you surrender?” Makoto teases.

“Never.” Haruka sneers back.

“You’re going down Haru-chan!” Makoto’s heavy footsteps sound like a stampede coming right for him.

“Don’t call me Haru-chan!” He scolds, meeting him with a vicious blow upside the head and hammer him relentlessly on all sides.

He squeaks and then laughs joyfully, returning each of Haruka’s blows with some of his own and Haruka finds that he is just too damn entertained by such a stupid immature activity to do anything but grin like an idiot as well.

This is what he wants.

For the rest of his life.

Simple and uncomplicated and happy.

He wants to wake up in Makoto’s arms. He wants to take a bath in his tub. He wants to eat at his table. He wants to do homework and read in his room. He wants keep his clothes besides Makoto’s in a drawer. He wants to fall asleep to his scent and sounds. He wants to laugh with him. And yes, he wants to have pillow fights too because they’re stupid and silly but they make Makoto smile like he’s the happiest man whoever lived.

Haruka isn’t sure but he’s almost positive this is what happiness feels like because there’s no other way to describe this feeling deep in his heart. It feels like there’s a star glowing inside his chest.

This moment of introspection costs him, however, because Makoto pelts Haruka across with a brutal affront of cotton and feather. It’s enough to stagger his balance and make him collapse. He glances up in time to see Makoto pull back for a killer blow.

“Makoto! Wait! Time out!” Haruka shouts, throwing his hands up to block him, huddling into the intersecting crevasse of the wall and the floor. He stops and Haruka can see worry flit across his face as he kneels down.

“Haru? Are you okay? I didn’t hit you too hard, did I?”

Now he’s worrying he got too enthusiastic. Haruka knows he worries about his own strength sometimes. They’re all muscular but Makoto builds it more easily and it makes him more restrictive in his actions, preferring gentleness to shows of strength.

“No. I’m okay. Just need a minute to catch my breath.”

That’s partially true. The two of them are panting pretty hard and Haruka takes Makoto’s hand to straighten himself into a sitting position, resting his back to the wall. He sits on his pillow for comforts sake.

“Yeah. Me too.” Makoto says, sinking down onto the floor besides him. Their knees touch and Makoto gives Haruka a lopsided grin that makes his stomach do somersaults.

He doesn’t know why but the next words just tumble out of him unexpectedly

“…We’ve never had a pillow fight before, did we?”

Makoto’s eyes grow distant; clearly trying to recall a memory that Haruka knows doesn’t exist. He blinks and then smiles again, looking amused.

“You’re right. We haven’t. It was pretty fun though.”

He searches Makoto’s face intently but it betrays nothing but levity and joy.

“Does that bother you?”

Makoto tilts his head. “No. Why would it?”

“We never played.” Haruka sighs.

“What do you mean? We did things together all the time.” Makoto asks confused.

“Not like this.”

Haruka prompts him further. This feels important. He doesn’t know why but he wants to know what Makoto is thinking.

“Didn’t you ever want to do things like this?”

Makoto looks trapped. He doesn’t want to admit something. Haruka already knows what he’s going to say but you want to hear it anyway.

“Maybe…maybe a little. But I was with you. That was more then enough.”

Such a typical answer from him. To settle because that’s as good as it gets. Of course he would say something like that.

 _It’s not enough for me._ He thinks bitterly.

“Haru?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Haruka shakes his head, knees drawn up to his chest and resting his arms on them. “I was just thinking…maybe I wasn’t a good friend sometimes.”

“Haru!” Makoto says in alarm. “Don’t ever think that! I’m glad we’re friends. I don’t regret a single moment of any of it. I love y--being with you.”

Haruka turns to face him. His expression softens, a face he shows to Makoto only.

“…You wouldn’t do things differently?”

Makoto opens his mouth to answer but then he stops. He blinks and leans back against the wall, his eyes are staring into the distance. A distance of time not of length. Haruka is quiet as he watches him, waiting…and in some small corner of his heart, dreading.

Then Makoto chuckles and the knot in his stomach unravels.

“There’s many different ways things could have played out for us, things I could do different and probably should to different.” Makoto admits. “There’s probably things I should change or fix that happened with you.” He bites his lip briefly and then smiles to him. “But I wouldn’t. I’d do everything the same way again. If I did anything differently, it wouldn’t be special anymore. Getting it perfect means we’d never learn anything. Besides Haru-chan is already perfect, even when he’s at his worst.” Makoto laughs a bit at that last part, giving him that same radiant smile that could melt a glacier.

Haruka turns away at that, his expression hardens a bit.

_I’m not perfect. If I was, you wouldn’t have had to wait so long for me to figure this out._

He hates being told he’s special, that he’s perfect. That’s pressure to live up to other people’s standards and Haruka doesn’t like that. He never gets why people think he’s so exceptional. He’s only ever wanted to be normal and now…

“Haru? Did I make you mad?” Makoto’s tone is heavy with worry so Haruka makes his expression kinder, looking at him again.

“Why do you smile at me so much?” He doesn’t mean to make it sound like an accusation. He’s not annoyed by it, just curious. Haruka isn’t sure if he’s succeeded in making his tone gentler but seeing that perplexed look Makoto’s infamous for makes him think he did.

“Eh? Oh…well…I find the things you do charming.” He says weakly, as if admitting some shameful secret.

Haruka’s face is one of absolute incredulity.

Charming? Haruka doesn’t see it. What’s charming about doing things that come so naturally to him? What’s charming about long ingrained habits? Is there a charm in normality?

“I’m just doing what comes naturally to me.” He says finally.

“I know, Haru but it’s so unique to who you are that, I don’t know, it make me smile.”

“The things I do aren’t so unique. Other people probably do this stuff too.”

“Perhaps.” Makoto relents, “But I don’t know any of those people. I know you. That’s why it’s special.”

Haruka has never understood when people say stuff like this to him. Most of the time, it’s in the context of his swimming. That it’s beautiful, that he’s a born prodigy, that he has a great future ahead of him. But like everything else he does, it just comes naturally to him so he doesn’t see it as exceptional, just another part of his everyday.

He’s just being…Haru.

 _But Makoto is just being Makoto._ Says a quiet voice in his head.

It all comes rushing at him without warning.

Makoto is just being the same person he’s always been and yet, Haruka seems to have been charmed by him as well.

He knows Makoto’s every habit, every tick, every subtle nuisance of his personality that others over look. Makoto is good at blending into the background, even amongst his friends. He’s good at appearing unexceptional at first glance, at letting himself be overlooked. He’s…normal.

But that doesn’t make him any less exceptional either.

_“I find the things you do charming.”_

It has to be true because he wouldn’t be feeling like this if it weren’t.

Makoto’s the same as he’s always been and yet this week is has caused all sorts of new emotions and desires to blossom in the empty garden of his heart.

Makoto is his sun.

Haruka was cold. He was the winter. Makoto is the spring he yearns for at this time of year. He’s the first true ray of spring sunshine that manages to warm everything it touches, thaws a frozen world.

And he touches so profoundly and deeply, while being gentle all at once. He warms every part of Haruka’s heart and being. Standing beside Makoto is like walking on the surface of the sun.

But being with Makoto?

Haruka knows he will burn up completely.

And he’ll light up brighter then any star when he does.

…

…

…

Haruka finds Makoto’s gaze automatically and the world goes still.

There are no more words here. They aren’t needed.

…

…

…

Makoto tilts his face downward.

…

…

…

Haruka mirrors the action.

They collide, mouth to mouth.

…

…

…

His body is on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all down hill from here, folks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka and Makoto, after all those baby steps, throw caution to the winds and get hot and heavy.

This is bad.

Not the kissing part. That’s great. Better then Makoto imagined in fact.

It’s where the kissing has lead them that’s bad.

After Makoto laid his heart wide open for Haruka to fully look at and told him his most sincere emotions, he’d worried that he’d said too much.

Maybe Haruka wasn’t interested in him that way – _We’d still be friends though_.

Maybe he felt self-conscious with how earnest he’d been – _Haru is often tripped up by emotions. I should have thought of that before speaking._

Maybe the answer wasn’t what he was expecting – _Is he having trouble finding an answer himself? I know he’s uncertain how to accept feelings or respond at times._

All those doubts and fears vanished, however, when he caught Haruka’s gaze.

Makoto felt as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and replaced with something that would leave him weightless and warm all over.

If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then peering through them allows Makoto to see the inner depths of Haruka’s heart and it is one of the most pristine sights he has ever had the privilege of seeing.

His eyes are so ridiculously blue it seems ethereal.

Makoto is certain that he could search the world for a hundred lifetimes and visit every corner of the globe a thousand times yet never find another person alive with eyes quiet like Haruka’s.

Clear. Perfect. Vibrant.

The Ever Blue – an infinite stretch of ocean that contains no trace of the Great and Terrible thing Makoto has always feared since childhood. There are no monsters in these depths waiting to drag him down to his end.

What does live in there will cradle Makoto in its arms and carry him close to its heart. There is nothing to fear when Makoto looks in his eyes. There’s nothing to fear when he’s this close to Haruka.

That’s why, at long last, he moves first to kiss him.

* * *

_This is bad._ Makoto thinks.

From the moment his lips connected with Haruka’s, he knew he was screwed because there is absolutely no way he wants to stop now.

Makoto knows he should stop for a number of reasons.

One, they’re sitting in the middle of the hallway. His parents could walk in the door at any moment.

Two, they’re bunched up where the floor meets the wall by the stairs. It’s getting uncomfortable to rest against wood and plaster.

Three, if Makoto moves over Haruka anymore, he’s going to notice what kissing him is doing to the lower half of his body and if that happens, he’ll probably drop dead of a heart attack on the spot.

Before he can even vocalize these concerns, however, it’s as if Haruka senses his intent because his hands move from resting in his lap to wrap around his neck. They pull Makoto in closer, tighter. Makoto opens his mouth to object but Haruka does the same, his soft pink tongue brushing against Makoto’s bottom lip before he nips the same spot ever so softly with his perfect teeth.

Haruka’s exhale escapes as a breathy sigh and Makoto’s very limited fortitude crumbles.

He forgets why he was worried about any of those other things. How can he be when Haruka just made a noise like that? What’s to be concerned about when his mouth is so warm and yielding to him?

Makoto yields as well.

His head tilts. His lips part. His eyes fall closed. His tongue moves past the barrier of Haruka’s mouth and finds a tongue waiting there. And when he brushes it over his, Haruka responds with another soft sigh that sets Makoto’s blood on fire.

One of his large hands braces the wall, the other slipping around to rest on Haruka’s back. With a push, he moves him forward. Haruka goes with the movement enthusiastically and crawls into Makoto’s lap. Not once does he break his connection with Makoto’s lips.

Kissing seems to be another amazing talent of Haruka’s because the things he does with his tongue are nothing short of incredible. It curves and massages and slides against Makoto’s, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to steal oxygen from Makoto’s lungs. Perhaps he is. Maybe that’s why Makoto feels so dizzy.

He’s not shy in straddling his hips either. Nor put off by that firm solid mass in Makoto’s pants that’s steadily getting harder with each passing second. Then again, he’s never been put off by its presence before.

Haruka sits down and presses close. They moan into each other’s mouths when the electric heat in their groins connects. It’s like being shocked with an eruption of sparks dancing across their nerves making both their bodies tingle and vibrate.

Even confined by their clothing, it still feels pretty intense.

_If it’s like this now…what would it be like without the clothes in the way?  
_

The heady image he gets of Haruka naked below him, flushed and panting and desperate to be satisfied by Makoto’s touch makes his head spin. He’s positive he’ll pass out unless he gets a deeper lungful of air.

With great willpower he never knew he had, Makoto pulls back from their kiss with a wet pop and clutches Haruka close to him, an arm around his waist and back, burning red face hidden in his shoulder. His entire body shivers at the lingering afterimages as he takes in huge gasps of air. He could probably fry an egg on his face right now if he wanted.

“Makoto?” Haruka questions. His voice sounds as stranded as Makoto feels. “Was it bad?”

Makoto shakes his head quickly. He doesn’t want him thinking it’s his fault he pulled away like that.

“No. It’s…I love it. I just got a little…too worked up.” He admits. He lets out another groan. “I felt really dizzy just now. 

Haruka hums in acknowledgement. “Me too.”

For a few seconds, they sit together, holding each other close and just breathing deep and slow. Movements have ceased as they try to collect their bearings long enough to figure out what the next step is. It makes Makoto feel better that he’s not the only one uncertain. They should probably talk but Makoto can’t pick up his jumbled words enough to have a discussion about their feelings and Haruka’s being as stoically silent as usual.

 _He’s probably thinking the same thing though_ , Makoto realizes.

They’ll have that talk later when their hormones aren’t screaming at them.

He feels Haruka’s hand move, slipping up between them and resting on his chest.

“Your heart’s racing right now.” His tone is hoarse but concerned. That warms Makoto.

“Don’t worry, I'm fine. It’s just all so new.” He reassures. Haruka nods. He probably feels the same way. It’s a bit overwhelming to go from platonic contact to this. Makoto’s almost feeling calm enough and he finally realizes that his breathing has slowed enough to where he can finally appreciate Haruka’s scent.

He burrows his nose in the juncture of his neck and shoulder and inhales deeply.

It’s funny. Makoto was always certain that if he got this close, Haruka would smell like chlorine or sea salt.

But it's actually much closer to the scent a cleansing rain leaves in the air, when the droplets are still clinging to the greenery, leaving the world refreshed and pure. It’s a cool soothing scent that calms his jangled nerves enough for him to keep talking.

“Do you want to stop, Haru-chan?” He won’t go any further then Haruka allows him too.

“Not really.” He says. It’s sign of how truly far gone he is that he doesn’t scold Makoto for calling him _chan_. A small part of Makoto feels triumphant. “But the floor is uncomfortable.”

Makoto hums and nods in agreement. “Let’s take this somewhere else. Hold on to me.”

Ordinarily, he knows Haruka would be quite resistant about being picked up but Makoto’s feeling bold enough to try and he’s curious to see what he’s willing to let him get away with.

His hands slip down lower past his back and clutch under his thighs for support. Haruka burrows his face in Makoto’s shoulder, arms around his neck, fisting his hands into shirt tightly. Makoto’s not sure why exactly.

Using the wall for support, Makoto hauls their weight up using his legs, his arms lifting Haruka at the same time. Haruka isn’t exactly a bride he can carry over a threshold but he’s always been able to hold him up for a few minutes due to his insane strength. Once he’s positive he’s stable, Makoto walks down the hall. His legs still feel like jelly though.

It doesn’t help when Haruka’s legs lock around his waist in a firm grip, pressing his semi-hard dick right into Makoto’s stomach as a result. Makoto’s knees wobble and it’s only by some miracle he makes it back to the living room.

“The lights are annoying. Shut them off.” Haruka’s muddled voice says once they’ve stopped in the doorway. Makoto agrees with this assessment.

“Okay but I need to put you down first.”

Haruka’s response is to just cling tighter, now to the point of cutting off circulation in Makoto’s midsection. He grunts a bit and sighs.

“Haru, I can’t turn the lights off and hold you at the same time.”

Haruka groans in annoyance, hating Makoto’s logical reasoning.

“Just carry me around the room. I’ll turn the lights off.”

Makoto chuckles because it’s such an adorable thing to say. He doesn’t tell Haruka this though. A statement like that will earn him that trademark scowl. That and he feels a ridiculous amount of glee in the fact he gets to hold Haruka like this a bit longer.

“Sure. Hold on.” He says, merrily.

Makoto wanders around the room and when he stops, Haruka peaks out just enough the find the switch or pull string. The overhead lights and floor lamps go off but not the reading lights on the end tables – for the sake of being able to see what they’re doing. Makoto does slide the shoji style door shut with his foot though. The hall lights are far too bright for either of them.

Makoto heads back to the sofa and places his knee on the cushions, bracing the back with one hand as he bends to lay Haruka down gently. Haruka must be feeling impatient by his romantic indulgences because he simply lets go and flops down unceremoniously.

“Haru!” He cries out in alarm. He scrambles over him, ready to admonish him to be more careful but he stops when he gets a good long look at Haruka.

At the way the dim light shines in Haruka’s softly focused eyes; his pupils blown open so wide Makoto can barely see the blue he loves so much.

The way the shadows carve out the soft angles of his face.

The slight flush in his cheeks.

The way his eyebrows are curved up into a calm, tranquil state.

How his nightshirt is hiked up a little bit to show off his slender midriff.

How his sleeper pants hang low, revealing the vee line of his prominent hipbones.

The way his limbs are bent in a completely relaxed state as if he’s willing to let anything happen to him and wants it just as much as Makoto.

The way his usually straight neat hair is slightly disheveled and spread across the pillow.

Haruka has always had a mesmerizing quality to him but he’s stunning like this. It robs Makoto of his words.

“Makoto, relax. I’m not made of glass.”

He gives in the instant those words leave his mouth.

He needs Haruka’s mouth and Haruka’s body and Haruka’s _everything._ Now.

Makoto breaks across Haruka like a wave on the sand, his mouth crushing Haruka’s with its urgency. He can hear a slightly startled gasp that tapers off into a breathy moan as Haruka’s lips part and welcome Makoto back and suddenly, it’s like they never took a break at all.

They kiss open mouthed, harsh heavy pants filling the air between them. Tongues swipe, lips smack, teeth nip. There’s no finesse or control to be found here and their lips are going to be swollen in no time.

Neither of them cares. They want more.

Haruka’s body shifts to accommodate for the limited space, one leg hooked over his hip while the other remains wedged into the crevice where the cushions meet. His hands surge up and around, one grabbing the back of Makoto’s shirt, the other carding through his hair and tugging just shy of being painful. Makoto groans. He likes that a lot.

He mouths the spot where Haruka’s pulse is, feeling how it rushes frantically just below the surface of his skin. Haruka moans wantonly in response, louder than Makoto’s ever heard him be in his life. It sends another jolt racing down his spine and scattering across his nerves like errant shooting stars.

Makoto brushes over his pulse with his tongue and mouths it again, this time scoring it with his teeth and sucking a deep bruise in his skin. Haruka squirms under him, a breathless whine escaping his wet ruby red lips and Makoto is certain if he’d heard that when he was first entered puberty, he would have come right in his pants.

Makoto doesn’t let up. He’s burning so hot right now, he’s positive he’ll spontaneously combust. He’s stopped thinking. Lust is in the driver’s seat now and all Makoto can do is hang on for the ride. He feels the same excited, dizzying rush as before when he was whipping around the ice skating rink with Haruka only amplified about 100 times more.

His lips are everywhere; leaving burning hot wet kisses all across Haruka’s rapidly darkening skin. He kisses down his throat, across his jaw, under his chin, along his cheeks, his eyelids, temples, forehead.

Makoto leans down and captures Haruka’s ear lobe between his teeth, nibbling and then licking the spot under it. He can taste sweat and smell the clean scent of his soap. 

“Ah…ha…Makoto…” Haruka’s voice is so thick and needy it barely sounds like him.

It gives Makoto a charge.

Since he started, his hands have been stationary on the couch, gripping the fabric as a desperate means to keep himself together because having Haruka below him like this would break him otherwise.

His green eyes are dark with intent his hand drifts down Haruka’s side from shoulder to waist. That earns him a full body shudder and a soft groan before he gasps in surprise when Makoto’s hand moves lower to palm his ass and give it an appreciative squeeze. 

Makoto blinks, coming back to his senses briefly. He’s horny as hell but he won’t do something to make Haruka feel uncomfortable.

“You don’t like it?” He says with a raspy tone that sounds deeper and sexier then Makoto’s ever sounded.

Haruka must like it because he shudders and then wraps his arms around his neck tightly, his burning hot face burrowed in Makoto’s neck as he hikes his leg up a little higher, heel pressed in the small of his back.

Haruka shakes his head.

“Do you want me to do it again?”

“Yes.” Haruka manages to grunt out.

Makoto loosens his hand and squeezes again, feeling how taut the muscle is, how much heat is coming off Haruka as he rolls his hips forward. Haruka’s entire body curves against his in response and suddenly he gets why Haruka had his face hidden when he gripped his thighs before.

He allows his hand to roam freely from his backside to over and around to his inner thigh, the touch there is feather soft, tracing patterns with his fingertips. Haruka’s head drops back onto the pillow as he pants, allowing Makoto to finally see his face.

He thought he’d properly prepared himself for the sight of an aroused Haruka.

He thought wrong.

His usually pale skin has been strained a deep red that steadily seeping down into his neck. His hair is a complete mess of tousled strands or stuck to his face, lips swollen and ruby red, wet and parted. Every time Makoto does something, a jagged puff of hot air blows in his face, his eyebrows twitch, the corners of his eyes squint.

Haruka’s eyes though…

Makoto is in love with the blue of Haruka’s eyes but this is contender too. Lidded and staring up at him in a lusty haze, his pupils are dilated so wide and dark there’s barely any blue to be seen and what remains is shinning with a muted glow.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” Makoto says with a reverent tone.

Haruka blinks slowly and turns his head away, no doubt embarrassed. Makoto chuckles and nuzzles the side of his face, kissing all over.

“Did I embarrass you?”

“I don’t. I probably look terrible.”

Makoto chuckles again. He understands. Haruka keeps a carefully composed mask in almost every situation he’s in but doing things like this, it becomes harder to keep a straight face. And with all the neediness he’s shown and sounds he’s made, Haruka’s probably feeling as keyed up as he is embarrassed.

“Not at all.” Makoto says, assuring. He whispers, sweet and low in his ear. “If I had a mirror, I’d show you just how incredible you look right now.” Makoto hears a sharp intake of breath, feels the exhale of hot damp air against his skin that makes his flesh prickle in delight. He can see Haruka’s expression relax and it gives him an idea.

Makoto reaches down with his other arm and grips his other thigh and pulls Haruka’s leg free of its prison, hoisting it over his own hip. Haruka turns back as he seems to catch onto what Makoto wants to do.

“Makoto, what—”

The words get caught off when Makoto moves against his body, the place of their union blazing hot and tingly.

Haruka gasps, head tilting back. His eyes flutter shut, lips part, cheeks flush, eyebrows curve upward in a state of pleasure. He lets loose an absolutely indecent groan that sounds nothing like him.

“I…Haru…can I…” Makoto rambles, as his chest heaves. He knew it would feel good but he didn’t prepare for that absolutely delicious sound Haruka just made. If he wasn’t before, he’s rock hard now.

“Do it again.” Haruka begs, arms locked around Makoto’s neck.

Makoto does.

He bucks his hips forward and down to Haruka’s, bracing his weight with his knees and arms. He grunts and gasps each time, electric heat setting his blood on fire, stoking the burning heat in his loins into a crackling inferno. It’s already so hot Makoto’s pretty sure he’s about to spontaneously combust.

Then Haruka’s whole body arches to move his hips as well and Makoto swears he can see stars explode to life behind his eyelids.

“AH!” Makoto throws his head back with a cry so loud it would no doubt wake anyone if they were home. His entire body shudders in response, his dick throbbing with its need for release. Every time they move, Makoto thinks the heat might explode out of him.

“ _God_ …Mako…to…” He hears Haruka moan out. He can feel the weight of Haruka’s dick against his own through the thin cotton, hear the absolute frantic labored breathing by his ear.

Makoto wraps his arms around Haruka’s surging body, the two of them an ebb and flow like the ocean as they rock into each other, edging closer and closer to their peak.

_More, more, more…_

Haruka’s mouth crashes against Makoto’s with a desperate whine, nails in his back and teeth in his lips. Makoto kisses back just as hard, his tongue plunging over and over again into Haruka’s mouth, swallowing all those sweet sounds he’s making.

This is it. He’s going to explode.

Pulling one hand free, he slips it between them, fumbles for Haruka’s hardness and rubs frantically, using the friction of the fabric for help.

Haruka’s mouth rips away from his as his whole body teases, his head tips back, his mouth agape and seconds later he climaxes.

Makoto gets to see the absolutely beautiful sight of Haruka coming undone; his stoic mask is shattered to pieces. It’s a sight that will remain with Makoto for the rest of his days. He’s convinced he’ll never see something like this ever again.

Eyes squeezed shut, brows arched in pleasure, mouth red and wet, skin flushed, hair in disarray, Haruka in this state is the most erotic thing he’s every witnessed. His heart feels so full right now he thinks he could live the rest of his life even if they never did this again. Makoto could be perfectly satisfied with just the memory.

And then it crumbles. Haruka slumps below him, panting and disoriented by the intensity of his release. His limbs are slack and there are small twitches in his brow and eyes as he struggles to regain his bearings. He blinks very slowly and finds Makoto’s face, still hazy from the rush of pleasure and bright in the bloom of afterglow.

“Did…did you…c-come yet?” He asks.

Makoto snaps out of his stupor, realizing he’s still very hot and discombobulated. His dick is straining rather painfully against his pants and underwear, slick with pre-come and pulsating with heat. He whimpers a bit. It’s getting a bit uncomfortable now that he acknowledges it.

“N-no…I still…”

What Makoto still is remains a mystery because Haruka suddenly palms him and rubs just as frantically, between his legs. Makoto gasps, eyes snapping open wide for a second as his upper half pitches forward, his legs trembling. He pants into the cushions, clawing with his hands as he groans wanton and needy.

“Ha….Ha… _Haru!_ ”

“I want to make you feel good too.” Haruka whispers in a low, alluring tone. 

A single nip of teeth to his ear lobe, a swipe of his tongue on the neck and a twist of his wrist around Makoto’s covered erection and he’s coming.

Makoto jolts, howls with a desperate whine as all the heat inside pulses out of him, every part of him being left hyper sensitive to even the most benign touch. 

Sucking in a choked gasp of air, Makoto collapses fully onto Haruka, panting heavily as his body relaxes. He feels sticky and wet and way too warm like he’s running a fever. He’s also covered in sweat and feels absolutely disgusting. Haruka’s no doubt grossed out right now. Makoto’s mortified.

“It’s fine. I’m just as gross as you are.” Haruka huffs out. His voice sounds strained, like he’s in a bit of pain.

Makoto turns his head slightly, his vision finally clearing of the lust that gripped him.

“Haru?” His expression is very uncomfortable but like he’s trying to act like he isn’t. “What’s wrong?”

“…Y-you're a bit…heavy…”

Makoto blinks and manages to get his shaking arms to work properly enough so he can push himself up so he’s not crushing Haruka.

“Ah! S-sorry, Haru-chan.”

“It’s fine.” Haruka’s leg slips off the couch. Below him, Makoto can see the dark stain on Haruka’s pants from his release. For some reason, it makes his mouth water. He turns his gaze away so he’s not tempted to put his mouth there. He does look back when Haruka sits up as well…and then pushes him down on his back.

“Haru?”

He doesn’t say anything. He just crawls on top and lays there, letting out a gentle sigh. Makoto’s arms wind their way around him and he smiles contently.

“Does that feel better?” Makoto starts to rub his hand up and down his back.

“Hmm…” Haruka responds, the high-strung tension bleeding out of him from Makoto’s soft touch. “I liked before too.”

Makoto’s hand pauses but then he continues.

“So did I.”

Haruka tilts his head up to look into Makoto’s eyes. The blue is back and it’s happy. The smile that graces his face is so beyond loving, Makoto feels like there’s a humming bird vibrating in his chest where his heart should be.

Without feeling shy, he cups Haruka’s cheek and draws him closer for another kiss. There’s no frantic rushing this time. They kiss for the sake of absorbing this moment between them. This is a kiss for the sake of intimacy.

There’s a lot they need to talk about…but not right now. Right now, they savor this pleasant warmth gathering in their bodies and in their hearts, warmth that’s so desperately needed at this time of the year.

The warmth evaporates when they hear the sound of the front door opening, accompanied by the voices of Makoto’s parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA!!! YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKED!!! XD
> 
> You boys better act fast or else Makoto's going to be getting a lecture on making Haruka into an honest man!
> 
> Also, apologizes on the delay. I pretty much rewrote this whole chapter in one day because of how unsatisfying the first draft was. Smut's harder to write then I thought. Geez... =x=


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, the afterglow is cut short but the warmth remains.

_This is bad._

That’s the only thought racing through Haruka’s mind at the moment. Everything proceeding this moment was good, great in fact. After that kiss in the hallway, he was more then certain that this was something he wanted to keep doing with Makoto. This, and so much more.

He’d wondered if Makoto would want all those things too so when he reached for him or tried something new, Haruka easily went. It was the simplest way to show Makoto that, yes, he wanted this as well, no, he was not doing this just for his sake, and that they were in this together.

Like always.

Makoto had a tendency to be self-sacrificing for the sake of everyone around him. The happiness of others became his happiness too. So Haruka showed him in his own way that it was okay to give in to what he wanted because he wanted it just as badly. It didn’t make him selfish to want something.

What Haruka did not plan for was how it would feel. He never explored his own body for intimacy’s sake, didn’t self indulge in any sexual matter unless it was necessary. So he had no frame of reference for the things that would happen to him when they started to get physical.

The pleasant curl of heat that nestled low and deep in his belly was a slow sweet burn he knew he’d never tire of.

The way his pulse rushed with excitement when Makoto marked his neck and grabbed him so boldly, shockingly similar to how he felt when he sped down the lane of a pool.

The electrifying heat when he pressed against Makoto, feeling how thick and hard he was from something as simple as kissing and Haruka feeling a strange sort of comfort knowing Makoto was just as aroused as him.

After that, it was all down hill.

Haruka knew he was doomed.

Now that he had a chance to experience something like that, how could he ever go back to living with its absence?

So he’d simply given in at that point. He was tired of being cautious, tired of false starts and having uncertainty hover over him like a cloud. He allowed himself to get swept away, as if caught in a rip tide and let his instinct and desire lead him to where he ultimately wanted to go.

True, it’d been frenzied and disorienting and explosive but the rush he got from it, the all-encompassing heat, and the sight of Makoto unbridled for once was…exhilarating.

And when the waves of passion stopped churning and the sea of his heart and body calmed, a pleasant warmth settled in Haruka’s chest, radiant like the sun.

It felt like…floating…

And float he did in that dreamlike state until the sound of the key turning in the lock and the sounds of Mr. And Mrs. Tachibana reminded him that both he and Makoto were a complete mess, probably littered with bruises or scratches, and no doubt would have questionable stains on their garments.

_This is bad._

* * *

Haruka had no clue humans could look as pale and chalky as Makoto did but it seemed tonight he was discovering all kinds of things. Wide eyed and petrified, he lay there. Through his t-shirt, Haruka could feel Makoto’s heart racing and not from excitement.

Haruka wasn't much better, if he was being honest with himself. He’d gone stiff as a board, silent as an anxious animal anticipating danger. And they were in danger! Haruka had every intention of telling Mr. And Mrs. Tachibana that he was dating their son – was that official? He _really_ needed to talk to Makoto about this stuff – but he damn sure was not going to let them know how intimate they really were.

Lack of experience or not, Haruka knew that no teenager in their right mind would let adults know every single detail of their love lives.

“H-haru-chan.” Makoto whispered urgently. Haruka blinked, meeting Makoto’s terrified eyes. From the looks of it, he was in the same boat; more then willing to be honest but not _this_ honest! And definitely not this soon!

They could hear the two of them chatting happily with each other from the kitchen. They must have gone in to see if there was anything left to clean up. Good. That would buy them a bit of time. The kitchen was just around the corner from this room though so they’d no doubt at least check to see if they were in here or not.

“Haru.” Makoto hissed more frantically. “What are we-Mph!” Makoto ceased talking when Haruka clamped a hand over his mouth, meeting Haruka’s firm steel blue gaze.

“Be quiet. I’m thinking.” He said tersely. Makoto obediently went silent after that, looking up at him imploringly. If only they’d gone upstairs instead of here, this wouldn’t be an issue.

_Stupid Makoto. This is all his fault!_

Haruka sat up and assessed them both. First things first; hide the evidence. Dragging Makoto up with him, he smoothed their hair out as best he could. A glance down revealed that yes, there were some darker stains on their pants that would not be mistaken for spilled liquid.

“Makoto, tug your shirt down a bit lower.” He instructed under his breath as he set the hem of his sleep shirt down to cover himself. Makoto nodded and did just that.

It would have been better to use a blanket for cover but it was at the other corner of the room and Haruka was familiar with this house enough to know which sections of the floor creaked the loudest when you stepped on them. This would do.

Haruka scrambled back to the opposite end of the couch and snagged the remote, hitting the mute button instantly and scrolling through the channels until he found something convincing and unmuted, making sure the volume was very low.

“Haru, what are you doing?”

“Staging.” He said simply and then folded himself at one end and pretended to sleep.

“Your idea is to play possum?!”

“If you had a better idea, you should have spoken up.” Haruka mumbled brow furrowed.

“They’ll never fall for this.” Makoto complained yet still reclining in position that would hide his lap and look convincing enough to fool someone he was asleep.

Haruka opened one eye.

“You didn’t notice Thursday morning.”

Makoto blinked in confusion and then realization lit up his face, which turned completely red again.

“You…you were awake?!”

“Makoto, is that you?” came Mrs. Tachibana’s voice.

With a startled squeak, Makoto played possum at his end of the couch. Haruka sighed and feigned sleep as well.

The door slid open.

Footsteps dampened by carpet.

Breathes held in nervous anticipation.

“Oh, those two.” Mrs. Tachibana sighed. “They are going to wake up stiff and sore sleeping like that.”

“They’re young. They can still rebound from things like this.” Mr. Tachibana said easily. His heavier footsteps came closer to Haruka as he swiped the remote from the coffee table and switched off the TV.

“Makoto’s going to make his eyesight worse watching TV in the dark.” She tisked. A billowy softness draped over Haruka’s body. She must have put a blanket over him. Haruka had to fight the urge not to smile.

“We could always get him laser corrective surgery.”

“I don’t think he’ll really go for that. Maybe when he’s older.”

“…You know, when they’re like this, makes me remember when they used to be small enough to both fit end to end.” Mr. Tachibana chuckled.

“They’ve really grown a lot, haven’t they?” Mrs. Tachibana said fondly. “I still remember setting them side by side on the futon for naps. Now they’re almost adults themselves. Before we know it, they’ll have families of their own.”

Haruka felt a little sick at that.

He’d been so caught up in the moment, he hadn’t thought about anything in long term.

If he was to stay with Makoto, those things would not be possible.

No marriage.

No grandchildren.

Having to keep their relationship a secret to avoid scrutiny by strangers and work associates.

Living on the fringe of society because it was somehow shameful to be in a relationship with another man.

He could do it. He was fine with never having any of those things and never meeting anyone else’s standards. He didn’t care about that stuff. He cared about Makoto.

…But…did Makoto want those things?

What was he going to do if Makoto said that he wasn’t enough?

Haruka could feel the warmth evaporating, a numbing cold spreading in his stomach and clawing it’s way up into his chest. It was the same as being back in his house.

He was freezing again.

“Well, let’s see how things unfold.” Mr. Tachibana said, voice both wise and warm. “Just because we choose that direction, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily right for them.”

A ray of sunlight in the middle of winter.

“…Yes. I suppose you’re right.” Mrs. Tachibana agreed with the same fond tone in her voice. “For now, I suppose we should simply watch over them.”

A lift in temperature to thaw a frozen world.

“Goodness, is that the time? We better get to bed ourselves.” Mr. Tachibana said. His steps faded as he entered the hallway.

“Right. We need to pick Ren and Ran up tomorrow.” Mrs. Tachibana’s voice was closer then Haruka expected. Was she going to shake him awake?

No. She kissed his forehead.

_Don’t smile._

It’s nearly impossible.

How can he not when he knows that two of the most important people in his world would still love him even if the rest of the world didn’t?

“Good night, Haruka.” Seconds later, he heard her move over to Makoto to tuck him in and kiss him as well. “Good night, Makoto.” Her footsteps faded as she closed the shoji door and faded down the hall and up the stairs.

And then it was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit of a breather from the last chapter this time. Next time, Haruka and Makoto will be having a heart-to-heart so expect more fluff and feels. Depending on how much I can do, it may even be up later today! So possibly double update!!! :D
> 
> We're starting to wind down towards the end for this story. I think it'll conclude with 16 chapters total so we are in the home stretch now! After that, I'm going to start brainstorming my next 2 stories. First is another Mako/Haru and then one with multiple pairings. Cause what's better then one ship? MORE SHIPS!!! XD


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything is laid on the line...but the conclusion is already foregone.

Makoto allows himself to let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. That had been too close for comfort. Like Haruka, he was not ready to let his parents know the two of them were boyfriends.

_…Are we?_

Makoto knows he shouldn’t get his hopes set up so high but Haruka had just seemed so sure and so willing, how could he interrupt it any other way? In that moment, he’d been certain but now that the heat of rampaging hormones no longer lingers, now that all the tension has been released, he’s not any more.

What if for Haruka it was just a rush of hormones, an indulgence of curiosity and now that it’s been fulfilled he just wants to go back to a hand’s off status?

He doesn’t believe that. That’s his own self-doubt trying to trip him up again.

Haruka can read him so well. He knows that would hurt him deeply. Makoto is sure he understood that this was not a one-time thing. He read it in his eyes, heard it in the way he moaned, felt it when Haruka’s body pressed and arched against his needfully.

Movement besides him snaps Makoto from his thoughts as he can just barely make out Haruka’s form sitting up in the dark. He sits up as well and waits.

“…We should get cleaned up.” Haruka says. “I feel gross.”

Makoto frowns.

So they weren’t going to talk after all.

Of course not.

He shouldn’t expect so much so soon.

“We can’t run the bath. It’ll wake mom and dad up.” Makoto points out, swinging his legs out and standing. In the dark without his glasses or contacts, he’s virtually blind.

Haruka’s hand sliding into his palm chases away his doubts almost instantly.

“Hold onto me.” He instructs and tugs. Makoto smiles and goes with him, carefully exiting the room and following Haruka’s steps – he knows where the loudest floorboards are too.

Entering the hallway, there is some ambient light from the street lamps outside, lighting the corridor by a token amount. Haruka comes to a stop by the stairs, his head turning this way and that.

“What is it?”

“We left our pillows in the hall, didn’t we?”

“Oh! Right.” Makoto can barely remember back to the pillow fight. His romp with Haruka seems to have messed with his memory. “Maybe mom took them upstairs.”

Haruka nods silently and trails his hand along the banister, keeping a steady hold on Makoto’s hand as they ascend.

Makoto can’t wait to get himself cleaned up. He doesn’t feel sticky anymore but his underwear was still kind of damp and he does feel itchy where his come has dried. He imagines Haruka is just as uncomfortable.

_I’ll let him clean up first._

Entering Makoto’s room, they find the pillows on the bed when Haruka switches on the overhead light – his mom must have shut it off. 

Haruka drops Makoto’s hand and moves to his duffle bag, fishing out a fresh pair of boxer briefs and pajamas. Makoto moves to his own set of drawers to do the same.

“Put your clothes in the corner. I’ll…wash them with a few of my things so mom won’t notice.” He mumbles. When he’s found suitable replacements, Makoto sits on the bed and squirms uncomfortably but then notices Haruka hasn’t left. He’s standing there, watching him silently. “What?”

“Aren’t you getting cleaned up too?”

Makoto blinks. “Oh, I will but I was going to let you do that first.”

Haruka frowns and Makoto is at a loss suddenly.

“We’ve shared the bath before.” Haruka says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Makoto’s face lights up brighter then ever, his worried green eyes cutting away from him.

“I know that but…uh…this is a different, Haru-chan.” Makoto stammers. He feels put on the spot. There’s a new sheen of sweat breaking out across his warming skin.

It feels like he’s back in the living room again. He’s remembering what Haruka looked like before, all flushed and panting and needy, how he reacted to every touch and how he kissed him breathless. And how Makoto imagined him being later on, without clothes and staring up at him with those beautiful sapphires for eyes.

His pulse is quickening and all his blood is racing south again.

_Calm down! Clam down!_

“Before we were…and now we’re…um…” His voice is shaky and he hates it.

What made him think he could talk about this? He can’t be as nonchalant as Haruka.

“You mean it was easier to be naked around me before but now that we’ve had sex it isn’t?” Haruka deadpans.

“Haru!” Makoto shouts scandalized.

“I’m not wrong, am I?”

“That’s not it! You misunderstood! I’m not uncomfortable. It’s just…well…”

Makoto feels strained. His body is getting excited again at the thought of seeing Haruka naked but he’s equally nervous for the same reason.

Suddenly, Haruka’s legs are in his line of vision. Makoto snaps his gaze upward to his face but then Haruka is dropping down to kneel in front of him instead.

Makoto knows it’s because Haruka doesn’t want him to feel intimidated by him.

It’s these small actions he does that really let Makoto know much he’s loved.

In what capacity remains to be seen.

“What? Tell me.” Haruka’s voice is kinder this time, his expression relaxed and Makoto feels braver when he speaks this time.

“I want to talk about where we go from here but…if I’m alone with you and I see you like that, I’ll get excited again and we might never actually talk.”

Haruka blinks and then his eyes light up in understanding.

Makoto knows he owes Haruka a serious discussion of their relationship because it’s been fundamentally altered and Makoto respects Haruka enough to do that before they proceed further. It’s important to the both of them as individuals and as a pair.

He swore he would see this through to whatever end and if this the end of their psychical relationship then he will accept that as his answer.

Makoto’s lips are met with Haruka’s suddenly and the world around him seems to fade into a haze of color and light. Haruka, however, remains crystal clear. He sighs against his mouth and savors this kiss.

Before, he was so strung out, he couldn’t really appreciate all the details but now he’s really able to observe them.

Haruka’s lips are pillow soft. Not at all chapped despite how much time he soaks in the bath and swims in chlorinated water – a benefit of all the mackerel he eats probably.

When Haruka pulls back, he can see them in greater detail; petal pink and flushed with warmth, the bottom lip a little fuller then the top.

For the first time, Makoto realizes what a pretty mouth he has and why he liked kissing it so much. It makes the low smoldering heat in his gut burn a little hotter at the thought of where else he might like to put that mouth.

Later, he tells himself.

“Go get cleaned up first.” Haruka offers. “You don’t look very comfortable.”

“Neither do you.”

Haruka shrugs. “I can wait a little bit longer.”

He isn’t sure why but Haruka offering up the bathroom, the place where there is an abundance of water, to him first makes Makoto grin like he just won the lottery.

* * *

Neither of them can take a bath without waking Makoto’s parents up so they use a washcloth and the bath bucket to clean up. Besides the dried white residue, there’s also dried sweat that makes them both feel dirty. They wash their faces in the sink and run a damp comb through their hair before redressing in fresh clothes.

Makoto looks up from his assigned novel when Haruka returns from the bath refreshed. He smiles warmly to the usually stoic boy and closes the book, setting it aside.

“Feel any better?”

Haruka nods wordlessly and walks to the center of the room to shut the light off. He sees Makoto’s confusion.

“I want to talk like we always do.”

Makoto blinks and smiles. “Sure.”

The lights go off and the blankets shift, the mattress sinking as they both climb in and nestle to their usual spots. Tonight, Haruka lies on his back to face the ceiling once more. Makoto goes to lay flat too but Haruka stops him.

“Like this.”

He tugs at Makoto’s clothing, pulling him onto his side and allowing him to use his chest as a pillow and rest his arm across his abdomen. His arms wrap around his shoulders, snug and secure.

Makoto thinks his heart is going to explode in sheer joy. He loves being held like this but since he normally falls asleep first, he rarely gets to enjoy this position. Usually, Haruka has his back to him, his shirt in easy access so Makoto can grab onto it in the middle of the night if need be.

Now he invites him in closer of his own volition and Makoto feels completely at ease for the subject they’re about to discuss.

“Are you in love with me?” He asks suddenly.

That question would normally make Makoto hesitate but now…

“Yes.”

“How long?” Haruka continues. Makoto notices he doesn’t sound surprised and wonders if he’d been figured out before now. It doesn’t really matter though. They’re talking now.

“To be honest, I don’t really know, Haru-chan.” Makoto admits. “I’ve always cared about you a lot. You’re my most precious friend. So I guess always?” He sighs a little. “But that was a different kind of love then this. I didn’t start thinking about…um….trying those kinds of things with you until regionals.”

“…Since then?”

Well, since he’s being honest.

“When you said you appreciated me being here, that night in the hotel. I…I don’t know. I always knew you did but…hearing it just made me so happy.” Makoto nestles himself in closer to Haruka, his grasp around his waist tightening just a little bit. “When that happened, I felt this urge to pull you closer to me. I wanted to wrap my arms around you as tight as possible. I wanted to…um…”

“You wanted to kiss me.” Haruka supplied.

Makoto nods, feeling his face heat up. He remembers that night so vividly, Makoto is certain it will be the one memory that will endure until his dying days.

“Mhm. That was the first time I ever thought of doing something like that with you and it, well, startled me honestly. By the time I snapped out of it, you’d gone out to jog.”

He hears Haruka sigh and the sound was melancholy enough for him to realize that maybe he regrets leaving the room that night instead of staying around, that maybe they could have had this talk sooner.

Makoto shifts and rises up on his elbow, looking down on Haruka. Even in the darkness, he can see his eyes are bright.

“Makoto?”

“Haru, I don’t want you to blame yourself, okay?” Makoto whispers. “I didn’t know what to make of my feelings either. Until this week happened, I didn’t have a proper answer. I don’t really think either of us was ready to talk.”

After a moment, Haruka sighs and rolls over to face Makoto. He sinks back down as well, now facing him in the dark.

“Are you sad, Haru?”

“No. No, I’m not sad.” He utters softly. “Back then there was so much going on. We were still on the outs with Rin and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen after our relay. I said it because of that reason.”

Makoto nods in understanding. The last time Haruka lost to Rin, something in him seemed to break. Haruka eventually told him that night on the lookout what it was that had shaken him so much. So even after Haruka truly started to transform, that fear of falling apart must have lingered in the back of his mind.

It made sense that Haruka would say what needed to be said before that pivotal moment, uncertain if the outcome would shatter him yet again.

And it made sense now in why it took them so long to reach this point.

“What about you, Haru-chan? When did it start for you?”

Haruka blinks and then looks away. Makoto isn’t sure but he might be blushing.

“I can’t be sure.” He finally admits. “With us, it’s always been the same way.” Makoto meets the blue and becomes locked in his eyes. “I’ve always felt close to you, Makoto. It feels natural to be this close." 

It feels like radiant sunshine in his chest. His heart is full and light as air. Makoto can feel the tears forming but he blinks his eyes to chase them back. He doesn’t want Haruka to see him cry.

“I’ve never known any other way to be around you so I thought this was just how friends were. But…when I started getting those urges too, I didn’t know what to make of them. And I didn’t bring them up because I knew I wouldn’t be able to answer you.”

“I know how much you hate when things change.” Makoto says understanding. “I never did because I didn’t get it either and I started to get worried that you’d resent me for trying to change things.”

Haruka’s eyes are suddenly fierce. His expression is firm.

“Never. I could never hate Makoto.” He says with resolute assurance. Makoto blinks and chuckles.

“I know, Haru. I know.” He sighs. “I was just…scared.”

Makoto feels Haruka shift and press close to him and the taller boy folds his arms around Haruka naturally, breathing in the scent of his hair.

“Are you scared now?”

“Not at all.” Makoto smiled into the top of his head, pressing his lips into the soft silky locks. “Nothing about Haru scares me. What about me?”

“No. Never.”

A short pause ensues as they breathe and share body heat, arms entwined, bodies folded together safe and warm. Makoto’s hand begins to rub Haruka’s back and that earns him a gentle, pleased sigh that makes Makoto smile. Outside the wind whistles up the stairs, scattering flurries everywhere, the ice crystals dancing under the soft hazy streetlights like the white glimmering moths of summer.

Makoto closes his eyes. He’s ready to ask this question. 

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Haruka suddenly shifts, pushing Makoto onto his back. For moment he’s unsure what to make of this but then Haruka’s form slide over his, arms around his neck. On instinct, Makoto’s arms wrap around his waist, his nightshirt bunching up slightly so he can trace his fingertips of his bare back.

Makoto doesn't get time to savor that because Haruka is kissing him again.

Makoto opens his mouth and withdraws his tongue to let Haruka’s into his mouth. When it does, a soft moan escapes from somewhere deep in his throat.

His grip tightens just a bit, fingers splayed across his back and waist as Haruka keeps kissing him for all he’s worth, his slender fingers in Makoto’s tawny brown hair.

When at long last they break apart, Makoto’s breath comes out as a gentle sigh. He feels lightheaded. His vision is all muddled in this darkness with Haruka being the lone shape he can identify. The air is stifling.

Haruka’s smile swims into focus…and steals his breath again.

“Yes.”

Makoto surges up as Haruka leans down to kiss once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh...I wanted to post this yesterday but the dialogue gave me such trouble. I'm trash! DX
> 
> Next chapter...more smut. TwT
> 
>  **Added:** Made a few edits in here.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's still midnight oil to burn between Haruka and Makoto. Emphasis on burn.

It’s different to kiss Makoto this time.

After those few timid moments they spent getting used to it downstairs, Haruka had felt an even stronger urge to kiss Makoto deeper and harder. When they ended up on the sofa with Makoto pinning him down, they spent more time trying to devour each other’s mouths than actually kiss. He supposed that was what lust felt like.

It was exciting and felt incredible to be swept up in but way too frenzied for him remember exactly what happened.

Before, it was like a wildfire had swept across them unchecked.

This time, it felt like embers slowly being stoked hotter and bigger into a proper fire -- warm and comforting but no less arousing.

Makoto’s lips had a slightly rougher texture, a result of chlorine water and also the bitter cold wind that blew across the coastline. But they were just as hot as the rest of him, full and thick and a rosy pink that complimented his natural tan.

For someone who normally can’t stand the heat, Haruka can’t get enough of the kind Makoto creates and the kind he generates in him.

This is much less kissing as it is a slow intimate exploration. They spend more time breathing in deeply and remaining still than anything else, feeling the heat spreading between them and curling deep and low in their bellies. It’s a slow, sweet burn.

Besides Makoto’s lips, the inside of his mouth is hot and wet. Haruka curls his tongue to just barely touch the roof of Makoto’s mouth. A moan issues from somewhere deep in Makoto’s throat and fills Haruka’s mouth.

Haruka tilts his head and meshes their lips firmly together, mingling their tongues. There’s no fighting for control of their kiss. He just wants to feel.

And feel he does. With his body, in his heart and in his soul.

Makoto’s hands slide up his back, drift under his shirt and trail over his spine, leaving a line of searing heat in their wake. Haruka can feel the nerves jump with excitement, feel the way his skin prickles at the sensation. It makes him moan.

His lips lift away from Makoto’s, still parted and much darker than before as he sighs at the touch. Makoto doesn’t let up. His fingers trail higher, tracing along his shoulder blades and then back down skimming across his waist before ascending again.

It’s soft and slow and far more sensual than anything Haruka has ever experienced. He’s never explored with touch before. All he can hear is his own slow breathes and Makoto’s gentle sighs. All he can see is the boy he allows to get this close, his green eyes half-lidded and staring up at him in wonderment and adoration. His brain feels like a dumpling floating in thick broth. The world feels fuzzy except for them.

Whatever logic or reasoning Haruka have once possessed is gone.

He’s fallen completely under Makoto’s spell.

He wants to be closer.

Haruka leans down and this time he kisses his neck. He didn’t get a chance to do so before so now he does. Pliant and soft are the kisses he leaves on Makoto’s warm skin. When the taller boy moans, it vibrates into Haruka’s mouth. He likes it. A lot.

They wore t-shirts and shorts tonight rather than heavier winter sleepwear and it’s a good thing. Haruka would have hated to pry such a thick layer of cotton away.

He reaches the hollow of his throat and pulls back just a little, allowing his tongue to trail along the ridge of Makoto’s collarbone. The wet muscle leaves liquid heat in its wake. Makoto trembles beneath him with a breathy moan that makes Haruka’s pants feel a touch too snug.

“Haru-chan…” He whimpers.

In the dark, it’s incredibly arousing. For once Haruka finds he’s not annoyed by the nickname. It makes his heart leap and he knows it’s too late. He’ll never get Makoto to call him just “Haru” ever again.

This does not bother him in the slightest.

Haruka continues his slow exploration. He wants to know what Makoto likes the most to turn him into a quivering mass of mewls and moans. He calls up the thoughts he had when he gave Makoto a massage.

He did want to put his hands under his shirt then. He wants that now too.

Haruka moves them from bracing his weight on the mattress to skimming them over Makoto’s sculpted chest and race down his pristine abdomen, come to rest on his flat firm stomach and then dip under the hem. His fingers ghost along his flesh, feather soft and full of purpose. The heat radiating off his body is scorching.

Haruka marvels at the suppleness of Makoto’s skin versus the firmness of his muscles. He can’t really clam to be all that impressed though. All of them have bodies like this. It’s an every day part of Haruka’s reality. He’s seen Makoto in every state of undress throughout his life and watched him develop from a gangly, clumsy kid to… _this_. Muscles don’t impress him like they do with Gou.

How they react when Haruka touches them, well, that’s another story.

Even with just his fingertips, Haruka can feel the way they jump in attention as he climbs higher and higher. He draws on his skin with his fingers, creating a mental map for him to go back and explore later.

Then his fingers skim over twin buds of soft flesh on his chest and Makoto’s back nearly arches completely off the bed, mouth agape. Haruka lifts his head in question.

“Makoto?”

“A-again…”

Haruka blinks and rolls his thumbs over his nipples experimentally. “Like this?”

“… _Yes…”_

He’s grateful Makoto can still communicate with him because otherwise Haruka would have no clue what he was doing. He’s never seen this side of Makoto before so trying to decipher what he’s thinking would be difficult.

Haruka pushes himself up to sit on Makoto’s stomach, continuing to rub and stroke him by moving his thumbs in a circular motion. Honestly, he feels a bit silly touching him like this but Makoto’s reactions cancel that feeling out almost instantly.

Below him, Makoto is quiet an amazing sight.

His mouth hangs open as jagged gasps of hot air escape, his skin turning red and incredibly hot, his eyes shut but his eyebrows arched in absolute pleasure, his hair fluttering across his pillow. His hands have dropped away from his back and sit at his hips, fingers twitching and grasping his cotton shirt.

Haruka squirms above him, biting his lip. His pants are getting uncomfortable now. He kind of wishes he could take them off. Actually, he wishes all the clothes could come off now.

What’s stopping you, whispers a voice in his head.

Haruka’s hands withdraw instantly and Makoto slumps blinking up at him in bleary confusion, his green eyes dark and full of want.

“Haru?”

“Lift your arms.” He instructs.

Makoto does as he’s told and Haruka manages to tug the shirt off, throwing it onto the floor. After a moment, he decides to do the same for himself. At least he doesn’t feel so hot anymore.

His hands are back on Makoto’s chest to play with him some more, his blue eyes are stormy and fierce. He pinches Makoto’s nipples and rubs hard, making his entire back lift off the bed with a silent cry, his chest heaves.

“… _Ha-haru…ka_ …”

Haruka isn’t sure why but the sound of his full, proper name being moaned out like that becomes the equivalent someone dropped a lit match on freshly spilled napalm because the instant that noise reaches his ears, all the blood in his veins ignites.

It surges downward, hot and fast, pooling in his gut and sending a electrifying jolt into his crouch. Haruka shudders, hissing through his teeth. He can feel his dick swelling with arousal, pressing against the confines of his underwear and shorts.

He’s going to need to clean up again at this rate.

_I’m really done for, aren’t I?_

Makoto shifts below him and snaps him from his stupor.

“Makoto? You okay?”

He nods lazily, his chest rising and falling as he pants, the pupils in his eyes wide and dark with the green hardly visible.

“Y-yes. I’m fine.” His lips curve up into a smile. Haruka doesn’t understand why but then he can’t figure anything out when he feels sudden pressure and heat against his cock.

He has to clamp both hands over his mouth to keep from screaming. The moan he swallows back rumbles somewhere in the back of his throat. Eyes squeezed shut and shoulders trembling, Haruka is left reeling from the sensation.

His hands rip away and grasp Makoto’s thighs from behind to keep from falling over when whatever was responsible for that amazing heat and pressure that starts to move.

It takes a few seconds for Haruka to realize it’s Makoto’s hand. He glances down, his massive palm cradling and caressing the bulge in his shorts with the utmost care.

“You seem to like it when I touch you here.” Makoto whispers sweetly. His voice is thick and saccharine like honey with a teasing edge that makes Haruka’s legs turn to jelly. It feels like he can’t get enough oxygen with how hard he’s panting. His brain feels fuzzy as his head dips back and his mouth slackens. “Do you like it, Haru-chan?”

Haruka can’t speak. He’s too worried it’ll be shrill and loud enough to wake Makoto’s parents. He presses his lips together tight to keep his moans and pants from escaping.

Makoto’s mouth against his solves that dilemma instantly. Strange. He didn’t even notice Makoto sit up. Not that he can notice much of anything now.

Haruka’s arms twine around Makoto’s neck instead, his thighs spread and his hips arch into Makoto’s burning hot hand. He’s not just rubbing his cock but reaching lower to roll his testes. He starts to buck into his eager hand. A groan rips out Haruka’s mouth and into Makoto’s as they kiss long and deep.

It feels so good but the clothes are still annoying. He voices his displeasure, which makes Makoto break their kiss and mouth his neck. Haruka sighs.

“…O-off…” Haruka groans out.

“Hm?”

“I want to…ah…take my shorts off.”

Makoto kisses under his chin and moves away, releasing him. Haruka almost grabs Makoto’s hand to pull it back to where it was but he stops himself. It’ll be worthy it in a few minutes anyway.

Crawling off Makoto’s lap, Haruka shimmies his shorts and underwear off. He’s not shy about taking his clothes off. He’s never known body shame. His cock springs free, flushed a deep crimson red and thick. It slaps against his belly and leaving a wet sticky spot there from the leaking slit. There’s a damp spot on his underwear again but Haruka doesn’t care. He just wants Makoto to touch him again.

When he doesn’t, Haruka looks up at him curiously.

Makoto is staring at his dick like it’s the most amazing thing ever.

It makes Haruka feel very exposed. For once, he actually wants to shy away.

“What?”

“Eh? Oh sorry. I was…” Makoto trails off and sighs, burying his hot face in his hands. Haruka rests a hand on his shoulder.

“Makoto, what’s wrong?” Haruka asks, growing increasingly concerned. Is he having second thoughts about touching him without a barrier? Does he feel too embarrassed? Maybe he’s uncomfortable with seeing Haruka naked.

All those doubt vanish when he speaks.

“You’re really tempting me, Haru-chan.” He groans. “I…I want to put you in my mouth.”

It’s the lewdest thing Makoto’s ever uttered in his life…and yet, so incredibly enduring because of how flustered he’s become. Haruka doesn’t think this is a situation that warrants a smile but he does so anyway.

 _Charming._ He thinks with amusement.

“If you want to you can.” He says, moving around so he can lay proper on the bed. Makoto’s head snaps up, green eyes wide as Haruka rests besides him, hands folded on his stomach, his eyes on Makoto.

“Y-you’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” He nods.

Makoto’s tongue darts out to wet his lips and then he rolls over, pushing the blankets aside. With a bit of adjusting, Haruka moves to the center of the bed, Makoto hovering above him. Even in the darkness, Haruka can see how red his ears have become. They’re probably blazing hot.

“Haru, I…I’ve never done this before.” Makoto stammers.

“You think I have?” He huffs out.

“No! What I mean is…uh…I’m not going to be able to ask how I’m doing so, um…if something feels weird, you need to tell me, please.” Makoto says with slight uncertainty.

Haruka props himself up on his elbows and he can see the anticipation and the fear. Makoto is always fearful that he’ll get carried away and hurt someone. It’s why he never puts himself first. Admirable but not always ideal, Haruka realizes.

With a comforting hand, he reaches down and caresses Makoto’s cheek. He looks up at Haruka with question but it melts away when the hand wraps around his neck and pulls forward. Haruka moves up at the same time and kisses him, gentle and reassuring.

_I trust you._

Makoto sighs, smiling lovingly at him.

“Haruka.” He whispers, revert as a prayer and then his head dips down. His hands press down Haruka’s knees, drawing his thighs apart.

Haruka settles back to watch, his skin becoming warming and turning red, eyes bright and excited.

The first thing he feels is Makoto’s soft mouth on his left inner thigh. It sends another spark of powerful electricity through his nerves. His jaw clenches with a choked off moan, hands fisting into the sheets and eyes slamming shut.

His mouth trails higher and higher, leaving hot, wet kisses across Haruka’s thighs that sear him like a brand. His lips clamps on the delicate flesh and suck. There’s going to be a hickey there no doubt.

Haruka balances on one elbow, his other hand clamping over his mouth again. The mewls and whimpers that are fighting to break free are thankfully muted. Still, he manages to open his eyes, difficult though it is.

Makoto repeats the process on his other thigh only this time, he laps at his skin, an entire sheet of nerves there lighting like fireworks in the night sky and Haruka gasps, his head falling back and hitting the pillows; his groans near silent and his entire body shivering.

The near ticklish but intense pleasure that’s surging into his dick is so strong, Haruka wonders if he’ll come before Makoto even tastes him.

He gets that answer almost immediately.

Grasping the base of the shaft, Makoto’s tongue slides up his entire length on the underside, achingly slow, teasing the thick vein that’s pulsating there. Haruka’s breathe stutters and stammers as he goes higher and higher.

“Ah…ha…ugh!”

When the tip of his tongue touches the dripping slit on the head, it rips the air right out of Haruka’s lungs with a silent scream. His eyes snap open wide. His cock spasms. His sac tightens. He’s already teetering on the edge. He’s not going to last very long.

“M-Makoto, quit teasing and put me in your mouth already!” He snarls, pressing his hands over his face in frustration. He doesn’t mean to sound impatient but he feels like he’s going to explode or die at this rate.

Makoto’s chuckle sounds devious. Haruka blinks lifting his hands away to peak at him. He looks apologetic but amused.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be nice.” He says sincerely, his head dropping back down.

A second later, Makoto takes the head of his cock into his mouth and rolls his tongue over the slit, a groan of satisfaction rumbling from his throat.

Haruka claws at the pillow beside him and presses it over his face, moaning wantonly into it. His teeth clamp into it to quell his sounds, his back arching in response to the sharp tingles and erotic heat that’s radiating throughout his entire body. It burns away thought and reason. Haruka can’t think, can’t remember if he’s ever been able to.

He just feels wetness and warmth and – Oh God! Makoto is taking him deeper into his mouth. Is he going to try to swallow him whole?! Surely, he can’t!

…Can he?

The instant the wet heat of Makoto's mouth surrounds more than half of his dick, Haruka practically goes off in his mouth. Luckily, he manages to hold on.

“A-AUGH!”

He throws his head back and cries out orgasmically, his noises drowned by the pillow but still loud enough for Makoto to know he’s doing something _very_ right. He starts to swirl his tongue around the length of it, keeping a firm grip on the base, his other hand massaging his balls.

Haruka’s pretty sure his brain is short-circuiting because he can’t seem to remain still anymore. His hips twitch, wanting to plunge deeper into that amazing warmth, his stomach quivers, his hands clench and unclench, his back curves, his head tilts back, his leg tremble, his toes curl.

“Ah...Ha...O-Oh...God...Makoto...”

His hand finds Makoto’s shoulder and scratches 3-inch long red lines into his flesh. Makoto’s hand releases Haruka’s sac and reaches up, arm resting across his hips to keep him steady as he pauses his movements. Haruka drags the pillow away and manages to open his eyes.

Makoto’s jaw has gone slack, his eyes glassy with pleasure. His hand massages Haruka’s hips which makes them jump and push deeper into Makoto’s mouth with a rattling gasp. He blinks to clear the haze from his sight but Makoto is remains still.

_…Oh!_

Haruka reaches done with both hands, cradling the back of Makoto’s head, fingers weaving through his hair. Makoto sighs in affirmation.

 _“It’s okay, Haru. You can move if you want”_ is what Haruka hears.

Despite the wordless permission, he’s still careful. He doesn’t want to hurt Makoto. Haruka holds him securely as he rolls his hips forward and pushes even deeper into the moist, hotness Makoto’s mouth provides. His skin prickles in delight.

Makoto groans wantonly, his eyes fluttering closed as he pets his hips in approval. Haruka bites his lip and continues, broadening the length of his thrusts to go deeper and deeper. His dick throbs, aching for release. His pants become harsh and raspy, his entire body turning red hot, sweat beads on his brow and on the back of his neck.

“ _M-Makoto…Makoto….Mako…to…_ ” He chants in ecstasy.

His desperate moaning quickens and grows louder as his head lulls back, eyes rolling back and closing. His fingers tug at his hair as he thrusts fully into Makoto’s mouth and guides his head as he comes undone.

Below the sound of his heartbeat echoing in his ears, he can hear Makoto’s mewls and moans of pleasure, he can feel his tongue eagerly slipping around tip, edging him to climax even as Haruka bucks faster and then…

…He feels his dick touch the back of Makoto’s throat.

_…I’m completely inside._

Haruka’s entire body jolts as that revelation combined with the sensation sends him spiraling over the edge. He tries to pull out but it’s far too late. Haruka barely has time to crush the pillow over his face before he climaxes.

Haruka howls as he comes, going off with four successive jets of hot white fluid blasting down Makoto’s throat and filling his mouth. His entire body spasms with the intensity of his orgasm, crashing through him like a tsunami and burning hotter than the surface of the sun.

For a moment everything goes white.

And then it’s over. Haruka slumps, the pillow falls away and he’s left gasping like a fish on the shoreline. He can hear the pounding of his heart against his eardrums, still trembling and shivering from the rush.

He whimpers, feeling suction around his softening cock and peaks down. Makoto still has his mouth around him, swallowing every drop he spilled, his tongue moving and milking the other dry.

Haruka’s head falls back against the pillows and he wants to laugh. Even doing things like this, Makoto makes sure he’s well taken care of him. A blissful smile finds it’s way to his face and a hand reaches down to pet his hair in approval. He swears he can hear Makoto purring.

_Like a kitten with a bowl of cream._

The bed shifts and Haruka feels Makoto’s shadow fall over him. Opening his eyes and sitting up, he sees him moving to the floor and then return, a water bottle in hand. It must have been there from their failed English session. Makoto downs more half the bottle and then offers the rest to Haruka. He takes it gratefully and chugs down the rest. He lets the empty plastic bottle roll off the edge and sighs, falling back on the bed.

Haruka feels Makoto’s hands on his dick again and opens them up to see him cleaning off any leftover reside with some tissues.

Haruka feels the overwhelming urge to hit him. He flushes and turns away.

“I can do that myself, you know.” He mutters. Makoto tosses the soiled tissues away, bending down to retrieve their shirts.

“I know but I wanted to.” He responds, a smile in his voice. He hands Haruka his shirt and they redress.

“Why did you swallow?” Haruka asks, wedging his shorts and underwear back on. “Doesn’t it taste gross?”

Makoto flushes a bit pink and smiles weakly. “It wasn’t so bad. Just a little salty and kind of bitter but, you know, not terrible.” His voice sounds a little raw and Haruka feels guilty suddenly.

He wants to ask more questions but he doesn’t know if they’ll embarrass Makoto. He decides to try at least.

“I didn’t…um…is your throat okay?”

Makoto blinks and then his eyes widen before he laughs. “Oh! That? Don’t worry, Haru! I’m fine. Really.”

“I think I got a little rough.” Haruka admits.

Makoto’s arm encircles him, dragging the quilt back over them both as they lay back down. He bundles Haruka up in his arms and Haruka’s arms fold around Makoto in return, the two nestled together.

“Haru, you didn’t hurt me. I promise.” Makoto reassures in a gentle cadence, his fingers brushing some errant strands of black hair aside. “I wanted you to feel good and I wanted to try something new with you.” He smiles and nuzzles him tenderly. “Did it feel good for you, Haru-chan?”

Haruka’s face heats up and he ducks it into Makoto’s chest, nodding mutely. Makoto chuckles and kisses the top of his forehead, still petting him.

“Right so no more worrying, okay? I’m made of sterner stuff then that.”

Haruka hums in response and shifts to move closer…only to become aware of a slight hardness pushing into his front. He lifts the blanket a bit and frowns.

“You don’t want me to do you too?” He asks. Makoto tilts his head, looking sleepy yet satisfied. His smile is relaxed.

“It’s fine. It’ll go away on it’s own.” He assures.

“You mean you don’t want to trouble me even though you’re still not satisfied.” He challenges.

_So typical of him._

“Ah, no.” Makoto says, shaking his head quickly. “It’s not like that. I’m just tried right now. We kind of did a lot tonight. ”

Haruka blinks and he feels the clouds lift from his expression. Makoto does have a point. It’s been a very long night and they’ve had sex twice now. It might be wise to take a break for the evening. They only just now decided to be boyfriends. Maybe they should take this a little slower.

Though Haruka kind of wishes he could have had a chance to see Makoto come undone by his touch. It doesn’t seem fair he gets more than Makoto.

Makoto’s lips brush his forehead, warm and comforting as he settles down.

“Next time?” He offers, the emerald in his eyes glowing.

He’s not being a good sport about it or trying to make things even.

He wants it too.

Haruka smiles and closes his eyes, kissing his lips. He can taste himself there. It makes his heart flutter to remember how Makoto made him feel.

“Next time.” He promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGH!!! TOOK TOO LONG AGAIN!!! I'M SORRY!!! DX
> 
> I wanted to get this finished before I fly out to Vegas next week but I'm not sure if I can. With any luck, I'll be able to finish this before Sunday. We're getting very close to the end, people!
> 
> Next time...it'll be Makoto's turn. TwT


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto gets a great wake up call.

The warm heavy fog that settled over Makoto when he fell asleep lifts the following morning. For a few confused moments, he’s uncertain of where he is until his tired eyes focus on the two little stars pasted to the off-white ceiling above him. It comes back to him slowly, trickling into his subconscious like a slow shallow stream in the woods.

_Oh. Right._

Makoto exhales with an exhausted sigh and rubs his sleep-laden eyes. His brain has been a bit of a mess since yesterday. Most of his attention has been fixated solely on Haruka. His eyes snap open at that.

How could he forget?

Turning his head, Makoto realizes he rolled onto his back in the middle of the night with Haruka remaining on his side, bundled up close and tight. Facing him. Makoto smiles at the sight that greets him.

Haruka’s still asleep. His face is relaxed and his skin is warm, his hair framing his features nicely. Motes of light speckle his face to highlight his smooth skin, his pretty lips, his delicate cheekbones, his slender nose, his long thick eyelashes.

Were they always that long? Have they always curled at the corners of his eyes that way?

Makoto spends an immeasurable amount of time studying his features. He wants to reach out and stroke his cheek but he doesn’t want to disturb this astonishing sight. His hand folds itself over his stomach. The other one is trapped under Haruka, limply wrapped around his back and shoulders to keep him close.

Keep Haruka close. That’s what Makoto has wanted for so long and now that it’s happened, he’s smiling even more then ever. Having Haruka as a friend was the finest privilege Makoto ever received.

Having him as a boyfriend? Makoto feels like he’s the luckiest man who ever lived.

“Good morning.” Comes a raspy voice. Makoto blinks. He got distracted and didn’t notice Haruka had woken up. He shifts and Makoto gratefully takes his arm back, rolling onto his side. It was starting to go numb under his weight.

Haruka settles back down and finally opens his eyes to meet Makoto’s. They’re sleepy yet bright, glowing a stunning shade of blue that can only be compared to the surface of the water he loves so much.

Then he smiles. It’s so completely loving and peaceful it makes Makoto’s own seem inadequate by comparison.

It’s rare to see Haruka smile but when he does, it makes everyone else smile too. Makoto is no exception and returns it. He pillows his head on his folded arm, his other hand resting on the mattress between them.

“Morning.” Makoto returns. His voice is just as hoarse as Haruka’s. He really needs water. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine. You?”

“Yes. Just fine. It wasn’t hard to sleep after…” Makoto’s cheeks flush a bit as he trails off. He replays the memories of Haruka writhing under him in the living room, of the sounds he made in this room, of all the sights and sensations they both experienced.

“Yeah.” Haruka agrees. He moves closer and Makoto opens his arms to welcome him.

Makoto sighs contently, more then ready to fall back asleep holding Haruka like this.

…Except he becomes aware that he’s poking Haruka with a certain part of his anatomy that’s now wide-awake.

Makoto’s eyes open quickly, his face starts to redden. Haruka lifts the blanket to peak down and Makoto scrambles to pull it back down.

“H-haru! No!”

Haruka’s face is incredulous. “Why are you so embarrassed? It’s not hurting anyone.”

“I know but…”

“Do I need to remind you of what you did last night?” Haruka interrupts, his face unflinching.

Makoto is certain his face resembles a tomato right now. He doesn’t want to admit it but Haruka does have a point. After going down on someone, getting flustered because you popped a boner in the morning is the definition of over reacting. Then again, everything they did was so new that Makoto’s still half-convinced it was all some blissful fever dream. He shakes his head.

“No. You really don’t.” He mumbles, closing his eyes and drawing the blanket higher around his neck. “I remember.”

Haruka is silent besides him. Makoto opens one eye curiously. There’s a knowing glimmer in his eyes that confuses him.

“Then you remember what I said yesterday then.”

And just like that, Haruka crawls under the blanket. Makoto blinks rapidly as he watches the shape move lower and lower towards-

_…Oh God._

Makoto is pushed onto his back before he can say anything with a startled little squeak. Pushing up on his elbows, all he can see is the mound in the blankets where Haruka is buried.

“Haru, wait! I-…”

Whatever Makoto was going to say becomes lost forever because suddenly there’s heat and moisture on his crouch that flash burns all coherent thought from his head.

Makoto’s arms give out as he topples back in bed. His legs are forced apart by slender fingers, gripping his right thigh and left knee.

“…H-Haru…” He whimpers. Makoto’s heart is racing already. His body is heating up rapidly like the first day of summer. His breathing quickens. “W-wait…my mom and dad…”

“Left already.” Haruka says. Makoto groans uncomfortably now that that amazing feeling has left. “They went to get Ren and Ran. We have the house to ourselves.” There’s a bit of smug self-satisfaction in Haruka’s voice when he says that, like he was waiting all morning for this.

Knowing Haruka, he probably was.

“So be as loud as you like.” He finishes, low and eager.

Makoto’s dick hardens at the sound of his voice and then twitches when Haruka mouths him again. He gasps. Frantically, he shoves the blankets aside, tilting his head down to watch. Haruka hasn’t even removed his pants or underwear; he’s just got his open mouth pressed over the rapidly hardening bulge in his shorts, breathing hot damp air over it. His fingers knead the soft pliant skin of his thighs, activating all the sensitive nerves there. Sparks of electric heat race across his entire lower body. Makoto struggles to stay upright on his elbows as he watches. His jaw weakens, mouth falling open as he moans.

“Ah…ha…nhn…H-Haru…” He whimpers. It’s already so hot and wet, Makoto wonders if he’ll come before Haruka really gets going. His eyes close as he focuses on the incredible warmth that’s surrounding him, moaning in satisfaction. His thighs tremble when Haruka’s fingers begin to move over his thighs, tracing lazy patterns across his burning hot skin with his fingertips.

Then he feels the gentlest press of teeth against that delicate spot and Makoto gasps, making him jump and lose his balance again, falling back on the mattress.

“H-Haruka!”

“You really liked that, huh?”

Makoto tilts his head down enough to see Haruka rise up. His eyes are focused and determined as he tugs the garments down just enough to gain access to his dick. On instinct, Makoto turns his head away and closes his eyes tightly. He’s not sure he can handle the sight of Haruka looking at him like that; the same way he does before he gets to dive into the water.

His cock springs free, hard and thick, defying gravity from how incredibly turned on he is at the moment. Makoto tenses, waiting for the wet warmth of Haruka’s mouth but it doesn’t come. Makoto peaks through one eye.

Haruka is sitting there, staring at him like he’s suddenly forgotten what he’s doing.

“Haru? Are you okay?” _Is he embarrassed?_

Haruka glances up at him and blinks once. “What? Oh. I’m fine.” He mutters. “I just didn’t realize you were this big.”

Makoto’s entire body burns with white-hot mortification. He clamps his hands over his face, shoulders hunching up like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible.

“Haru!”

“What? It’s a compliment.” He rationalizes.

Makoto groans in humiliation. In the locker room, he’s never stared at anyone else when they’re changing and he always has a towel wrapped around his waist when he gets dressed so he’s never compared sizes before. Even on those occasions when he and Haruka bathed together in the past, his eyes never drift lower then his waist. Haruka has never known what body shame was but Makoto knows. He’s feeling it right now. It makes him want to curl up and hide.

“Hey.” Haruka’s voice comes, much closer then he expects.

Makoto’s hands are pulled away and he opens his eyes tepidly to see Haruka at his side. His face is calm and his eyes are gentle and it helps ease the tension of the situation greatly. Makoto can feel his body relax just by looking at Haruka.

“Sorry. I got a little…flustered.”

“It’s all right.” Haruka reassures, leaning down. His lips touch Makoto’s ever so softly and then move to his chin, his cheeks, his forehead and at the corners of his eyes. When he kisses the tip of his nose, Makoto laughs. The embarrassment fades and he manages to smile back at Haruka. “Do you want me to do it or not?”

Makoto blinks very slowly, watching Haruka for the longest time.

No, not watch.

His large hand cups his cheek, thumb brushing over a cheekbone softly. Haruka sighs contently at the touch and folds his hands over Makoto’s. He turns his face to kiss his palm with reverence. Makoto smiles.

No matter what happens, he knows Haruka will take care of him just as he always takes care of Haruka.

“Yes, I would but only if you want to, Haru.”

One corner of Haruka’s mouth lifts like a subtle smirk and then he bends over, kissing Makoto again. Their lips part immediately and Haruka’s tongue dips into Makoto’s briefly with a soft sigh. Makoto chases after it with his own as Haruka pulls back.

“I do.” He says. “Just tell me if you don’t like it.”

He crawls back down the length of the bed and Makoto prompts himself up against the pillows since he’s sure his arms won’t be able to support him when Haruka gets going. He’s already lost his balance twice.

His erection is flagging but Haruka takes care of that easily. Moving Makoto’s legs so they rest over his shoulders, his arm loops around, a warm hand grips the hotter base and begins to pump from hilt to head.

Makoto’s lip becomes caught between his teeth as he watches Haruka work the shaft until it’s hard and deep red, the head ruddy and beading with pre-come.

And Makoto finally gets to see Haruka’s cute petal pink lips part, his soft warm tongue flicker out to brush along the head, almost lovingly. He bathes the entire head like he’s eating ice cream and Makoto is sure he’s never going to be able to share a popsicle with Haruka again without getting aroused.

Without hesitation, Haruka’s mouth wraps around the head, lapping at the tip and swallowing the murky ejaculate. The noise he makes like it’s the most delicious thing in the world goes straight to Makoto’s dick and just like that he’s rock hard.

The feeling is shocking, sending intense shivers up through his whole body that reduces him to groans and heavy panting. He’s barely started but Makoto feels like he’s going to come already. Shyly, Makoto covers his mouth with the back of his hand as he moans, closing his eyes as the new sensation bombards his senses relentlessly. It's new but hot and incredibly arousing.“H-haru…more…”

Haruka’s mouth leaves the head, still continuing to stroke his cock to leave Makoto moaning with want and need.

“Only if you say my name again.” His voice drawls out, tauntingly.

Makoto groans in frustration. “Haru.”

“No. That’s not it.” He teases. Makoto huffs and peers down through unforced eyes to see Haruka’s mischievous looking grin. He’s in control at the moment and he knows it so he’s being a tease.

_I’m so strung_ _out and he’s smiling like this! He’s the worst sometimes!_

“My name, Makoto.” He repeats, more firmly. His hand tightens, squeezing his hardening dick, his thumb rolling across the tip and smearing come all across it. “Say it for me.”

Makoto feels the equivalent of a bomb going off inside his body. His eyes snap open wide for an instant before they squeeze shut. He inhales so sharply and deeply, it makes his head spin dizzily. The heat in his gut ignites into a blazing fire that lights up his whole body like fireworks in the night sky. His back arches as he cries out in ecstasy. He can’t think anymore except how to get back into Haruka’s mouth.

“ _…Ha…Ha…Haruka…p-please_!” He cries out, whiny and submissive. Makoto knows he’s at Haruka’s mercy now.

He’s more then okay with that.

Those seem to be the magic words because Haruka’s grip loosens…only to be replaced by his mouth.

Haruka’s lips part a little wider, taking Makoto’s dick half way into his watering mouth. His hand strokes the base as he licks and sucks, creating suction by hollowing out his cheeks and draws him in deeper with a groan.

Makoto’s hips jump in response. His head tilts back. His toes dig into the sheets. His mouth agape as he moans long and loud.

He isn’t sure what to do with his hands so he nervously trails one lower, running it over Haruka’s hair to let him know he’s doing a good job and he actually leans into the touch with a content moan. The other hand clutches the bedding in a desperate bid to hold on just a little longer.

It’s a struggle to control himself because he doesn’t want to hurt Haruka but it’s nearly impossible when Haruka’s tongue swirls around his dick like that, carving a path of liquid heat that roars through Makoto like burning gasoline. The pressure is mounting in his balls. He’s not going to last at this rate.

“H-Haru…you’re so…good…it’s…hot…wet…” Makoto rambles, his brain scrambled to the point where all he can do acknowledge is Haruka’s mouth around his throbbing cock. The sensation makes him eager to buck into the heat and wetness and it’s finally too much for his self-control to manage. His hips press into his mouth, drawing out another heady groan. “H-Haru!”

Haruka’s palm strokes Makoto’s stomach, the muscles twitching and calming with every sensual caress of his hand. It’s a reassuring touch that gives him wordless permission.

Makoto gives in to his need, rolling his hips forward to buck into Haruka’s mouth. He’s not frantic like Haruka was. He moves slowly. He wants to really _feel_ it.

He loves the way he slides so easily into Haruka’s mouth, how his thick girth presses against the other’s tongue, how the wetness and warmth makes his cock swell with excited anticipation. The heat that was pooling in his belly is blazing hot, bubbling over and setting fire to every part of his being.

Makoto feels like he’s in the middle of a star and Haruka is the gravity that’s going to rip him apart, reduce him till there’s nothing left.

Then Haruka’s tongue presses against the underside of Makoto’s cock and drags up achingly slow until it grazes the tip and Makoto knows he can’t hold on anymore.

“Augh! Ha…Ah…H-Haru! I…I’m gonna-…” He struggles to choke out, his body trembling when he tries to pull back in time but Haruka’s hands press down on his hips to lock him in place.

Then Haruka moans and the vibrations from his throat finally proving to be the tipping point and suddenly everything is happening much too fast. The heat explodes out of Makoto violently without warning.

His back arches as he cries out, near screaming as he hits the apex of his orgasm. His dick unleashes a thick torrent of ejaculate in Haruka’s waiting mouth. Over the sound of his pulse rushing in his ears, he can hear Haruka’s pleased moan of pleasure and feel the suction of his mouth as he swallows every last drop.

Makoto opens his eyes and swear he sees stars as he rides the aftershock. As his vision clears, they vanish until he can only see the two little ones pasted to the ceiling.

A soft rasping sound draws Makoto’s attention. He dips his head down enough to see Haruka swallowing his cum, his tongue swiping across the entire length of his dick to clean him up. His cheeks are flushed and his breathing is reduced to harsh panting. Haruka’s tongue laps the leaking tip and he actually mewls.

Makoto’s positive that will be enough to get him hard again so he closes his eyes tightly and throws an arm across his face as he pants and concentrates on the sound of his heartbeat which is finally starting to settle down. He remains that way even when Haruka cleans him off with tissues and tucks him back into his shorts.

“What is it?” Haruka asks. Makoto pulls his arm away, eyes fluttering open as he catches sight of Haruka’s curious face.

…And also the little dapping of white on his lower lip that he missed.

“…”

“Makoto?”

Makoto sits up, cupping his cheek and pulling him forward. With the flick of his tongue, he cleans the spot off Haruka’s lip. He doesn’t think about how strange or gross it is to be cleaning his own cum off Haruka. It’s a little too late for shame now that they’ve both done the same exact thing.

Haruka pulls back in shock, his pale skin turning red as he looks at Makoto scandalized.

“You…you didn’t have to do that.” Haruka breathes out after a minute. “Just tell me it’s there and I’ll clean up.”

“Where's the fun in that?” Makoto teases with a smirk. Haruka frowns and flops down besides him, face down in the pillow. He punches Makoto’s side.

“Shut up.”

Makoto simply laughs and bundles Haruka up in his arms. “Well, that’s one way to start the morning, hmm?” He chuckles again when Haruka knees him in the thigh this time.

“You’re terrible.”

“You’re the one that loves me so you’re just as awful.”

Haruka turns his head so one little circle of blue peaks out at Makoto. His green eyes dance with amusement. Pushing up on his shoulders, Haruka gives him another tender kiss while Makoto combs through his hair.

“You’re right. I do.” Haruka mutters, resting his chin on his chest.

“And I love you too, Haruka.”

Haruka answers that with another slow kiss.

And then another.

And another.

Eventually, Makoto pulls the blanket back over them to block out the world so they can kiss and touch to their hearts content.

Ten minutes later, they’ve fallen asleep.

Fire minutes after that, Makoto’s family returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL, Makoto you pervert. XD
> 
> Well, okay guys. I couldn't finish this story like I wanted to before Sunday. Work and writer's block kept me from doing it. :(
> 
> But I did get the 2nd part of the smut I wanted finished so that's good! :)
> 
> I'll be in Las Vegas and San Fransisco all next week so no updates on this story for bit. I can't promise how much I'll get to write while I'm out there but I will try. Outlining this story out, there's probably has anywhere between 4-5 chapters left, including an epilogue which may break format because it'll be Haruka's POV, regardless of the final chapter. 
> 
> I'll also be brainstorming for 2 more writing projects while out there so I might be able to post that at the start of November but no promises.
> 
> See you all in a week! Thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks!!! <3 <3 <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka and Mr. Tachibana have a heart to heart.

The bedroom door clicks shut and Haruka sits up in a daze of mild confusion. For a moment, he can’t remember where he is but then he looks around and recognizes the familiar sight of Makoto’s room. Seconds later, he can hear the hiss of the shower.

Strange. Makoto is not a morning person. It takes him a great deal of time to get up so Haruka’s surprised he’s awake first.

Haruka smiles a bit, dropping back onto the mattress with a soft sigh. He rubs a hand over his tired eyes and arches his back to stretch. He sits up again, bending his neck this way and that before getting up and heading downstairs. Makoto won’t take long to wash up but he’s really craving some tea.

Yesterday feels like such a blur in the blinding light of the winter morning. So much happened in such a short amount of time but for Haruka, it feels like he’s come to the end of a long journey.

Or maybe he’s getting ready to start one. The distinction is too small to tell the difference and he doesn’t particularly care one way or another. Makoto is his boyfriend now. That’s all that matters.

He steps into the dining room and heads for the divided kitchen space, snagging the kettle on his way from the counter.

“I already brewed you a cup.” Comes a friendly voice.

Haruka’s head snaps up. He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts he didn’t notice Mr. Tachibana at the table. There’s a steaming mug of hot coffee besides him. The morning paper is open and folded before him but he’s not reading it. He’s watching him with a look that Haruka can’t quiet place and he suddenly of wishes that his parents were home more often so he could learn the body language of adults.

“Thank you.” He says simply and walks over to the table. His favorite mug is sitting there, pale blue and painted to look like water with a dark blue dolphin in place of the handle. The tea bag is steeping inside.

“It’s no trouble.” Mr. Tachibana says.

“Did Ren and Ran come home yet?” He can’t remember if he dreamed that or not.

“They did. They went out again with their mother to go sledding at the foothills.”

“Oh.” Haruka nods. He inhales the aroma of his tea and deciding it’s properly steeped, removes the tea bag and places it on a nearby saucer. The sugar bowl is pushed into his view. “Thank you.” He watches the cubes melt in the amber liquid, not wanting to meet the older man’s eyes for some reason he can’t pinpoint.

“There was a message for you this morning.” Mr. Tachibana adds. “The repair shop called. They can come out later this afternoon to fix your heater.”

At that, Haruka finally looks up. He’s not sure what face he’s making but Mr. Tachibana is looking at him with a sympathetic expression of understanding. He’d honestly forgotten all about that and being reminded why he was here to begin with makes his heart sink a little.

“Oh. Good.”

“You don’t want to go home yet.”

It’s not a question. It’s a statement of fact.

Haruka frowns, his eyes watching the steam drift up from his cup and creamer swirl around in the form of thick twisted ribbons. Rationally he knew this wasn’t going to last forever. He knew sooner or later, he would have to return home. But now that the time has come for him to leave, Haruka discovers he doesn’t want to.

_This was a temporary thing and you knew it. Why are you so let down?_

He feels like kicking himself. He’s being unreasonably immature and he knows it. However much he loves this home and the people living here, Haruka has his own home. And it’s not like he lives on the other side of the planet, the country or even across town. Makoto is literally down one flight of stairs. Yet he feels like he’s being cruelly dragged away, never to see this place again.

_When did I get so melodramatic? Is this a side effect of being in love? I hope it’s not like this forever!_

“Did you want to stay longer, Haru-kun?” Mr. Tachibana asks, pulling him from his thoughts.

He almost says yes. Almost.

“No, I can’t but thank you for the offer.”

“You know you’re always welcome here, Haru-kun, any time at all. You don’t even need to ask. Just come over.”

Haruka nods. “I know that now. Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll find a way to make it up to you.” He gives the older man a courteous bow but Mr. Tachibana simply chuckles.

“It’s not needed. I assure you.”

“I insist.”

Mr. Tachibana simply shrugs at that. He doesn’t fight any more on this issue. He’s more easygoing when it comes to these matters, willing to compromise with Haruka if he’s insistent.

“Then I’ll accept your gratitude.” He says. “Still…I can tell you wish to stay.” He smiles seeing Haruka’s confused look, partially blocked by his mug as he takes a deep sip. “It’s understandable. After all, I remember what it was like to be in love for the first time too.”

Haruka nearly inhales his tea. Luckily, it makes it down the right tube. It still hurts with that hard gulp he just took. He sets the cup down as carefully as he can and tries to keep his face neutral. Judging from that concerned yet knowing smile Mr. Tachibana has, Haruka knows he’s doing a poor job of it.

“Don’t look so scared. We’re not angry.”

“I’m not! I just…well…” Haruka is at a loss for words. This is not a conversation he expected to have and definitely not at the start of the day. The words refuse to come to him and his tongue doesn’t seem to work.

“Did I startle you? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worded it like that!” Mr. Tachibana laughs.

“No, it’s fine. Just…how did you know?”

“Well, I’m no entomologist but I’m reasonably certain that mosquitoes aren’t common in the winter.”

“Sorry. What?” Haruka asks, bewildered.

Mr. Tachibana taps the side of his neck with two fingers, his eyes bright with amusement. Haruka brushes his hand along his neck for a moment, utterly baffled and then realizes what he’s getting at. His eyes widen.

Turning to look into the mirror next to the sideboard, he can see his neck is littered with bruises and bite marks, a myriad of deep reds and even darker purples. His neck is more scared then a battlefield and each mark probably has a story behind it that Mr. Tachibana can clearly read off his skin. Someone would have to be blind not to see it.

Haruka feels his entire face heating up, mortification and panic mixing together as heady memories bubble up in his mind. His logic centers are screaming at him to get a grip, stop thinking about this stuff because, oh god, what if Mr. Tachibana can somehow read his mind? Maybe that’s where Makoto gets his intuitive abilities!

_I may as well have just strapped a neon sign to me reading “I had sex with your son last night!” At least Makoto isn’t here now. Only one of us should die of embarrassment!_

“Haru-kun? Are you all right? You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“Fine.” What a lie.

“You seem a little flustered. Did I upset you?”

“No. I just didn’t think this would come out so soon.” He admits, lowering his head slightly, barely mumbling. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

“Oh, I doubt that.” He corrects. “I was 17 once. It’ll absolutely happen again.”

Yep. No doubt about it. He’s going to die of embarrassment and this is Mr. Tachibana’s way of murdering him slowly.

_Parents are brutal!_

“Listen, Haru-kun.” He continues, pushing his now empty coffee mug aside. “It’s like I said before. Makoto’s mother and I, we’re not upset. You boys are old enough now to know what you want and if dating each other is something you wish to do, then you may. I trust you’ll take care him, as you always have.”

Now he’s trying to flatter him to death. Wonderful.

“What are you saying?” Haruka feels so clueless at this moment and he hates it, even with all he’s been hearing. It feels too good to be true.

“I’m saying you have our permission to date our son, Haru-kun.” He clarifies, patient as always and there’s a crinkle at the corners of his eyes when his smiles that seems to change their shape. Haruka wonders if this is what people mean when they say, “smiling with your eyes.”

“Oh.”

“Did you think we wouldn’t let you?”

He waits patiently, watching him. Mr. Tachibana isn’t pressing for answers; he just wants to know what he thinks and feels so he can be confident in his decision. Haruka feels grateful because he’s having trouble with his words again.

“I don’t know.” He says finally. “I didn’t really plan on this happening. It just sort of…did. And now I’m struggling to figure out what the next step is. I’ve never…”

“Been in love before?” He ventures and Mr. Tachibana can see that ever so subtle crease appear in Haruka’s brow line that says he hit the nail right on the head but doesn’t want to admit it out loud. It’s not a case of pride. Haruka’s just a little shy. The younger boy merely nods, not looking at the older man.

“It’s a whirlwind, I agree.” Mr. Tachibana says with a wistful sort of tone as he leans back in his chair. “You get so caught up in the person you’re with, you find yourself tripping up a lot. Things you want to say, your daily routine, your own thoughts, all those things get jumbled around. Suddenly, it feels like your center of gravity has shifted away from just you. Now, there’s another person there and it throws you off balance.”

Haruka blinks in stunned silence. He’s never heard a more accurate description of how he’s felt in his entire life. One thing he’s always been certain of is his status with Makoto. He never had to doubt or worry about it. It’s been the one thing that’s remained consistent throughout the years…but he’s always orbited around Haruka’s own little world, a piece of it but not the center. But now that Makoto is standing in the center with him, his entire world has been thrown into chaos. Things have been shaken up and no matter how hard he tries, Haruka knows his inner world has been altered. It’ll never go back to the way it was before.

If it were anyone other then Makoto, he would be terrified. But he’s not.

“But I think that’s what makes it fun.” Mr. Tachibana says suddenly. Haruka blinks, looking up in attention. “Falling with someone, I mean, stumbling to right yourselves and find harmony together. Maybe that’s why they call it falling in love to begin with.”

It’s one of the nicest and truest sentiments he’s ever heard regarding love and it makes Haruka smile one of his best smiles.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“Take care of our son, Haru-kun.”

“Don’t worry, sir. I will.” _I always will._

* * *

Haruka pushes the door open to Makoto’s bedroom and finds him inside, jeans on but otherwise naked. He’s ranking a towel through his damp hair and for a moment, Haruka indulges in watching the droplets of water slide down his back. He feels an urge to chase after them with his tongue…but he knows where that will lead eventually and they don’t have the house to themselves anymore.

…Although…his house will be an option now that he has the heat working again.

His eyes gleam with purpose.

“Haru?” Makoto asks. “The bath is free if you want it.” Haruka merely nods and steps inside, shutting the door behind him. Makoto turns his back to him again, probably thinking he’s going to get his clothes and a towel.

He doesn’t. He walks over and wraps his arms around him from behind. He feels Makoto pause; can sense the confusion and mild concern from his boyfriend.

“Haru? Is something wrong?” His tone is soft and gentle and Haruka presses his forehead into the middle of his back so he can’t possibly see his face.

“I just wanted you to know I love you.” He mumbles. There’s a long silence but then Makoto’s little chuckle disrupts the ambiance.

“I love you too, Haru-chan.”

Haruka sighs and steps back, Makoto turning to face him and his hands come to rest on Haruka’s biceps.

“Don’t just call me Haru-chan.”

“Just?”

He can see the slight lift in Makoto’s eyebrows. Haruka knows he should not give Makoto this much control over him. He’ll never get it back if he lets it go.

Haruka’s eyes move to meet Makoto’s, bright and vibrant like peridot gemstones in this light, and he suddenly realizes he doesn’t care about names anymore.

Every name Makoto calls him makes his heart jump a little because he always says it with total adoration. Haruka knows he would be a fool to deny himself something that makes him so ridiculously happy.

“Call me…Haruka from now on too.”

Haruka swears the sun is radiating from Makoto’s smile. He confirms this when his lips connect with his forehead and the heat flows from Haruka’s skin into his body, spreading deep to his core, warming him from the inside out.

“Okay then…Haruka.”

Haruka can’t stand it anymore. He tilts his face up and kisses Makoto full on the mouth like he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is up! With apologies on the lateness of this. I didn't expect nearly a month to go by before I updated. Between vacation, a new office location, and adjusting to a new schedule, I haven't had the time or motivation to write but hey, no better time to update then my own birthday! :D
> 
> We're nearly finished. There's 2 more chapters and an epilogue to go now. After this, I have at least 3 more ideas on the back burner so I'll see which one I want to work on first. 
> 
> Happy Reading!!!


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